Gone

Look at you out to make a deal
You try to be appealing but you lose your appeal
And what about those shoes you’re in today
They’ll do no good
On the bridges you burnt along the way

I was reading the newspaper on Sunday afternoon, thinking fondly of how my sisters and I used to scramble for the Parade magazine and comics buried deep in the Sunday News, but only after my father gave us his permission to touch the sacred Sunday paper. Mid-reverie, I came across an article that stopped me in my tracks and made me feel honestly ashamed and grieved.

"A Wal-Mart worker was killed on Friday when hundreds of shoppers surged into a Long Island, New York, store. Customers shouted angrily and kept shopping when store officials said they were closing because of the death, police and witnesses said. The store, in Valley Stream on Long Island, closed for several hours before reopening."

A disgrace. An absolute disgrace. Someone lost their life because enough people were willing to literally trample a human being to death to score one of the first legendary roll-back prices of Wal-Mart. I am ashamed because the stampede was not a strange, isolated incident. It was a symptom of a larger evil. Greed and selfishness fueled by a give-me give-me more society. I wonder how many other people recognized this when they read that article, or whether people just turned the page shaking their head at those horrible, irresponsible shoppers. See, I wasn't in that line but I know that I have contributed to that evil when I complain about being scant when I have more than I could ask for right in front of me. Or by turning down an opportunity to share generously with others in order to save a meager amount. Or by being a wasteful and lazy consumer. The death and injurites that occurred in the Wal-Mart entrance was a glimpse into the ugly reality further down the road of ungratefulness, greed, and selfish consumerism. We all play a part and in the wake of this tragedy, we should also identify and renounce the ways and extents to which we perpetuate this sickness.

On the day after Thanksgiving. It was a black Friday, indeed.

In a more positive light, I celebrated Thanksgiving with several of the other U.S. Americans in my program as well as my Irish boyfriend, Kevin, and several of our international classmates from Hungary, Japan, Columbia and the UK. Yours truly roasted the bird to a practiced perfection, and everyone else contributed tasty side dishes and pies. (Of which I am still enjoying today!) We post-poned the event until Saturday, given that we had class on Thursday and work Friday morning. No Macy's day parade or biological family. But we had good food, good wine, good conversation, and a great time that night. We all shared about our family traditions and even circled up and shared something we were each thankful for. I gave thanks that night and would now like to blog-thank the people who have invested in me and given me life opportunities, for my family, and for present company as well as my dinner company.

I appreciated this gathering and the continuation of a tradition that I have unintentionally created for myself. I have not been home to my "real" family for a Thanksgiving meal in 5 years. Every year since, I have hosted or helped plan a Thanksgiving for the U.S. American stragglers (others who could not be with their families) and international friends as well. Even though I always miss my Mom, Dad, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and even our golden retrievers a bit more on Thanksgiving day, the past 5 celebrations of thanks have enriched me in so many ways.

I am humbled by the way that people come together and share about their lives over a good meal. We are meant to give thanks....often, in private, in public, in our actions. We are meant to share our time, possessions, and humanity with each other. We are meant to listen and not just hear, but really listen to each other. We should laugh together and support each other through hard, awkward, or sad times.

During the first couple of weeks that Kevin and I started dating, we were having a conversation and he said, "You know, Bob Marley said what good is it if you gain the whole world and forfeit your soul?" I smiled and then laughed, and said, "Well...I think Jesus said that but either way, that's absolutely true." Then we both laughed. But he, (Jesus, Kevin, and maybe even Bob Marley) are right. You might save a few bucks here and there or find a steal of a deal on Black Friday at Wal-Mart, but who are you killing in the process? Yourself?

You’re willing to sell anything
Gone with your herd
Leave your footprints
And we’ll shame them with our words

Gone people
All careless and consumed
Gone
Gone going
Gone everything
Gone give a damn
Gone be the birds if they don’t want to sing
Gone people
All awkward with their things
Gone

~Jack Johnson, excerpt from "Gone"