Every semester as a study abroad advisor, I spent at least 40 hours per week helping students make a transition from the United States to various overseas locations. (I also did a fair amount of helping the parents let goooooo....this for another time.) My job was to provide comprehensive training and support to people who may or may not have ever set foot outside of the State of New York, let alone the United States. After more than two and a half years, I decided it was time to put my own training to the test again.
I left New York and fly to Colombia in just a few days. I do not know what awaits me in South America or beyond. One might think this sort of process is 'old
hat' for a reasonably well-traveled person and study abroad advisor. It
is not. Even though I recognize the progression of events and cycles-- I
am on the threshold of something new.
The reality of picking up life from one place and moving it to
another is so intense that I have to continually split myself into the
role of advisor and student/self and then attempt to follow my own advice!
For example, my body and mind create expectations,
prejudices, fears and 'planning anxiety' (that panicky
feeling that
frequently reminds you that your geographic location, job status, social
situation, and ability to purchase health insurance will be in question
within the next 6 months). The advisor then has to correctly identify the source of those fears and expectations and suggest facts and strategies to help work through them.
Savvy planning is not the key to a transformational experience. Rather, I have learned that my main task is to be open and to wake up
every day and remain that way.
Voy a Colombia.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Sunday, May 1, 2011
No Fracking Way!
“If the human race is still here in 100 years, it will be because of lots of people doing lots of little things." ~Pete Seeger, in a recent interview with Chronogram
Do you know about fracking? I didn't until about a year ago. What the frick is fracking? You might be asking. Glad you asked. Read this and join me in saying, 'No Fracking Way!"
Let's play one of my favorite games, shall we? It's the game of Let's Ask Some Questions!!! But first, a trailer from the Josh Fox documentary called Gasland. (Notice how Mr. Boren in this clip asks "If we weren't hydraulic fracturing, how much more would we be dependent on foreign oil....and terrorists?" Um...was he an elected official?)
Why are we fracking?
Because natural gas is touted as 'clean' energy and a way to become less dependent on foreign oil. Also, politicians and oil companies endlessly remind us...the natural gas industry and fracking creates jobs!!! Upon closer inspection, however, we learn that fracked natural gas is anything but 'clean', that there is no real safe way to frack, and even the argument that fracking is a viable economic generator doesn't hold water...not even poisoned frack water. In fact, fracking degrades not only the water, air and soil, but also poses serious health threat to humans and animals alike.
What has to happen in order to frack a well?
A natural gas or oil company sends letters to property owners requesting that they grant the company rights to frack on their land in exchange for a sum of money. If granted
access, the company must then create the infrastructure to frack on that land, which in involves building structures that look something like this (see right) and in many cases involves building new roads through farms or wooded areas, in order to be able to ship in millions of gallons of local water by truck to mix with their chemicals. So, not only do you have the actual process of fracking, but you have all of the realities that go along with it. For example, the daily drone of trucks and machinery shipping water in, then shipping poison frack water out, people with free access to your property at any time of day or night, and ugly structures dotting what used to be farmland, woodland, and grassy fields.
What happens as a result of fracking?
Remember the fracking fluid, composed of toxic chemicals and used-to-be clean, potable water? The poisonous fracking fluid returns to the surface to be often improperly stored, leaked into the local waterways, or sometimes just dumped onto roads and fields!!! In some places, the air becomes thick and smoggy with what can best be described as a toxic-cloud. Blow-outs and explosions occur. People's wells and other drinking water sources become contaminated, undrinkable, and sometimes even flammable.
Yes, their tap water becomes flammable. With what? you might ask. Methane, as a matter of fact. Methane is a greenhouse gas 72x more potent than CO2. Natural gas the 'clean' energy, hmm? It gets more frightening, my friends. In addition to the toxic brew that is forcibly pumped into the earth and seeps back up or leeches into the soil and waterways, it turns out that when you unnaturally create explosions over 8,000 feet in the earth's crust, other naturally occurring materials come up. You know, like barium, magnesium, methane, uranium, etc. etc. etc. Also known as radioactive material. Perhaps these materials are best left at 8,000 feet?
People become sick with many different types of ailments, including but not limited to losing their hair, losing their sense of taste and smell, developing permanent neurological conditions, brain tumors, debilitating headaches, cancers, and respiratory diseases.
Property loses its value because the air, soil and water on it is not only poisoned, but the property has an ugly-ass fracking well in plain sight on, or close by to it!
The animals begin to lose their hair, develop health conditions similar to those mentioned above for humans, and often simply just die.
What have people been saying whose wells have been fracked?
Many people are speaking out about what has happened to them and their families after they sold the rights to their land to natural gas companies to frack.
They are saying they are getting sick, that they can no longer drink their water, water their plants, take a shower, or cook with the water from their wells.
They are saying that they have to now buy water and have it shipped in. They are saying that it is difficult to get a hold of anyone at the natural gas companies to tell them what is happening and when they do, they are ignored, paid to be silent, and refused compensation for the damages done to their bodies, land, and water. They are saying that they cannot sell their property and get stuck, and some of them have had kids or family members leave their house or area because their daily life has been so disrupted. Read Chrystal Stroud's story from Towanda, PA, released less than one week ago.
A few people are saying it is their land and their right to frack. They need the money. They can't afford to wait for research and studies to be done, they have an offer for a few thousand dollars sitting in front of them! It is an opportunity, and they don't believe in the threat.
Listen to stories from Trailer Talk, brought to you by Sabrina Artel.
What are the Natural Gas and Oil companies saying?
They are saying things like "hydraulic fracturing allows oil producers to safely recover natural gas...reduce our reliance on foreign fuel imports....[and] accelerate our transition to a carbon-light environment" (Marcellus Shale Hydraulic Fracturing Fact Sheet, 2011, Chesapeake). In the aforementioned so-called fact sheet, Chesapeake Oil Company also emphasizes that the cocktail of chemicals is approximately only 1% of the fracking fluid. What they DON'T tell us is what chemicals they use! Instead, they create categories of uses like 'corrosion inhibitor' and 'friction reducer'. What they WON'T tell you (until the subpoena's are forcing them to) is that many of these chemicals are known to cause cancer, tumors, neurological problems, and are endocrine inhibitors. But eh...it's only 1% right?
The America's Natural Gas Alliance (ANGA) put out a sponsored video countering the popular documentary 'Gas Land'. They say we "have something special in this country" (natural gas) and use imagery of family walking in fields, kids jumping on beds, and nature shots to emphasize their commitment to safe environmental practices and "harmony" with nature. (Pumping toxic chemicals and drilling pipes miles into the earth's crust to fracture rock = harmony with nature?)
While calling in to question certain points of the GasLand film, the ANGA absolutely and remarkably fails to address or respond to ANY of the basic claims of the GasLand film...that natural gas drilling is harmful to humans, animals, and the planet. They simply reiterate their 'commitments', provide no data, and tell us how much we need their product. Then they show a nice shot of a family sitting in an un-fracked pristine wooded area.
To contrast it, GasLand shows the filmmaker asking questions from people who live in fracked communities from coast to coast. He lets them tell their story. He let's them show their water, their cloudy air, their dead wildlife. He let's them showcase their ruined lives and moves on to the next fracked town. This is not to say that every detailed claim made by the people shown in the documentary is factually accurate. But the message is overwhelmingly clear....fracking is causing a whole lot of damage in a whole lot of places. The film essentially poses this question to all of us: Are we going to let this continue to happen?
Back to what the natural gas industry is saying...since this question is supposed to be devoted to them after all. In addition to sponsoring ads on YouTube, the Natural Gas companies seem to be saying an awful lot through their lobbying dollars (see chart below). What do you think?
Who benefits from fracking?
Who loses as a result of fracking?
Individuals and families lose when their land is devalued, water and soil contaminated, and health permanently damaged. Employees of the natural gas industry are shown to have a job-related mortality rate 8 times the annual rate in other US occupations (EPA Hydrofracking Study Plan, 2011, p 56). Animals die when their water becomes contaminated or lose their ancient migratory patterns. We ALL lose because we share water, air, and soil. We also jointly bear the financial and emotional costs when neighbors, family, friends and fellow citizens become sick and even terminally ill as a result of exposure to the toxic chemicals and waste and poison frack fluid.
If it's really that bad, how is it possible that this is happening?
There is no simple answer to this but consider--there are very few federal regulations to protect that land, air and water in the United States. In fact in 2005 President Bush signed the Energy Policy Act that specifically denied the EPA the right to monitor hydrofracking (thank you Dick Cheney for adding that little loophole. How nice of you to do that for your Halliburton friends!). Since then, this decision has been reversed but there are still many policy gaps, lack of human resources and research at a time when the EPA and state environmental protection agencies fund's are being slashed. People are organizing all over the country to demand for studies to be done, demand more transparency from the natural gas industry, and demand that our right to clean air and water be protected, but unfortunately at this time, it is not.
What can I do?
You don't have to be an expert, a scientist, or an activist to decide what you think about fracking. The evidence shows that fracking is NOT a viable way towards clean energy. You can also say this is all ridiculous 'scare mongering' as the natural gas industry has done. (Good luck my fracking friends! Seems to be a risky gamble to me...) The solutions may depend on where you live and how people near you are becoming involved. Writing and calling your representatives at the local, state, and federal level is important! However, many people are getting involved in their town councils and enacting a ban within their town or county...which if your town does the same, NO FRACKING can take place where you live!!! You don't need the state or federal government to pass a bill in order to protect your immediate community. Also, keep in mind that a moratorium is a start but only a ban will prevent fracking from happening.
You can also tell your friends, family and neighbors about this issue and point them to stories like Chrystal Stroud or Craig and Julie Sautner. There is a good chance that if people knew their water and land and even their bodies would be poisoned, that they would say 'NO' to the natural gas companies.
On a more philosophical point, we would do well to use this moment to reflect on how our addiction to fossil fuels is damaging ourselves and the planet. How can we change? How must we change? How must we advocate to those in positions of power and authority in order to secure a sustainable future for ourselves and the next generations? What other questions do we need to ask?
Where can I find more information / (where did you get your information)?
Environmental Protection Agency
Gas Land (Documentary) (Viewed at the Rosendale Theater in Rosendale, NY)
Chesapeake Energy (Media Resources Page)
Frack Action
The Marcellus Effect (Blog)
Shale Gas Fracking: Facts and Figures (The UK Guardian)
Trailer Talk with Sabrina Artel (I met with Sabrina personally on April 30, 2011)
Protecting Our Waters
Frank Finan Picassa Album (many of the photos in this blog are from this album)
Fracking: The Great Gas Shale Rush (BusinessWeek)
Water Withdrawals for Hydrofracking
No Fracking Way! Facebook Group
'Women Fighting Fracking', I attended a session on April 30, 2011 at the Green Feminisms: Women, Sustainability, and Environmental Justice SUNY New Paltz and listened to four women from New York State and Pennsylvania whose neighborhoods are being fracked in New York and Pennsylvania.
Do you know about fracking? I didn't until about a year ago. What the frick is fracking? You might be asking. Glad you asked. Read this and join me in saying, 'No Fracking Way!"
In simple terms, hydraulic fracturing, or hydro-
'fracking' as it is commonly known, is the process of mixing millions of gallons of local clean freshwater together with a cocktail of toxic chemicals and sand and then shooting it deep into the earth to create an artificial earthquake which will create 'fractures' in the rock to allow for the natural gas bubbles to be released. This process has to happen each time a well is fracked. There are roughly 500,000 fracking wells in the US alone.
'fracking' as it is commonly known, is the process of mixing millions of gallons of local clean freshwater together with a cocktail of toxic chemicals and sand and then shooting it deep into the earth to create an artificial earthquake which will create 'fractures' in the rock to allow for the natural gas bubbles to be released. This process has to happen each time a well is fracked. There are roughly 500,000 fracking wells in the US alone.Let's play one of my favorite games, shall we? It's the game of Let's Ask Some Questions!!! But first, a trailer from the Josh Fox documentary called Gasland. (Notice how Mr. Boren in this clip asks "If we weren't hydraulic fracturing, how much more would we be dependent on foreign oil....and terrorists?" Um...was he an elected official?)
Why are we fracking?
Because natural gas is touted as 'clean' energy and a way to become less dependent on foreign oil. Also, politicians and oil companies endlessly remind us...the natural gas industry and fracking creates jobs!!! Upon closer inspection, however, we learn that fracked natural gas is anything but 'clean', that there is no real safe way to frack, and even the argument that fracking is a viable economic generator doesn't hold water...not even poisoned frack water. In fact, fracking degrades not only the water, air and soil, but also poses serious health threat to humans and animals alike.
What has to happen in order to frack a well?
A natural gas or oil company sends letters to property owners requesting that they grant the company rights to frack on their land in exchange for a sum of money. If granted
access, the company must then create the infrastructure to frack on that land, which in involves building structures that look something like this (see right) and in many cases involves building new roads through farms or wooded areas, in order to be able to ship in millions of gallons of local water by truck to mix with their chemicals. So, not only do you have the actual process of fracking, but you have all of the realities that go along with it. For example, the daily drone of trucks and machinery shipping water in, then shipping poison frack water out, people with free access to your property at any time of day or night, and ugly structures dotting what used to be farmland, woodland, and grassy fields.What happens as a result of fracking?
Remember the fracking fluid, composed of toxic chemicals and used-to-be clean, potable water? The poisonous fracking fluid returns to the surface to be often improperly stored, leaked into the local waterways, or sometimes just dumped onto roads and fields!!! In some places, the air becomes thick and smoggy with what can best be described as a toxic-cloud. Blow-outs and explosions occur. People's wells and other drinking water sources become contaminated, undrinkable, and sometimes even flammable.
Yes, their tap water becomes flammable. With what? you might ask. Methane, as a matter of fact. Methane is a greenhouse gas 72x more potent than CO2. Natural gas the 'clean' energy, hmm? It gets more frightening, my friends. In addition to the toxic brew that is forcibly pumped into the earth and seeps back up or leeches into the soil and waterways, it turns out that when you unnaturally create explosions over 8,000 feet in the earth's crust, other naturally occurring materials come up. You know, like barium, magnesium, methane, uranium, etc. etc. etc. Also known as radioactive material. Perhaps these materials are best left at 8,000 feet?
People become sick with many different types of ailments, including but not limited to losing their hair, losing their sense of taste and smell, developing permanent neurological conditions, brain tumors, debilitating headaches, cancers, and respiratory diseases.Property loses its value because the air, soil and water on it is not only poisoned, but the property has an ugly-ass fracking well in plain sight on, or close by to it!
The animals begin to lose their hair, develop health conditions similar to those mentioned above for humans, and often simply just die.
What have people been saying whose wells have been fracked?
Many people are speaking out about what has happened to them and their families after they sold the rights to their land to natural gas companies to frack.
They are saying they are getting sick, that they can no longer drink their water, water their plants, take a shower, or cook with the water from their wells.
They are saying that they have to now buy water and have it shipped in. They are saying that it is difficult to get a hold of anyone at the natural gas companies to tell them what is happening and when they do, they are ignored, paid to be silent, and refused compensation for the damages done to their bodies, land, and water. They are saying that they cannot sell their property and get stuck, and some of them have had kids or family members leave their house or area because their daily life has been so disrupted. Read Chrystal Stroud's story from Towanda, PA, released less than one week ago.
A few people are saying it is their land and their right to frack. They need the money. They can't afford to wait for research and studies to be done, they have an offer for a few thousand dollars sitting in front of them! It is an opportunity, and they don't believe in the threat.
Listen to stories from Trailer Talk, brought to you by Sabrina Artel.
What are the Natural Gas and Oil companies saying?
They are saying things like "hydraulic fracturing allows oil producers to safely recover natural gas...reduce our reliance on foreign fuel imports....[and] accelerate our transition to a carbon-light environment" (Marcellus Shale Hydraulic Fracturing Fact Sheet, 2011, Chesapeake). In the aforementioned so-called fact sheet, Chesapeake Oil Company also emphasizes that the cocktail of chemicals is approximately only 1% of the fracking fluid. What they DON'T tell us is what chemicals they use! Instead, they create categories of uses like 'corrosion inhibitor' and 'friction reducer'. What they WON'T tell you (until the subpoena's are forcing them to) is that many of these chemicals are known to cause cancer, tumors, neurological problems, and are endocrine inhibitors. But eh...it's only 1% right?
The America's Natural Gas Alliance (ANGA) put out a sponsored video countering the popular documentary 'Gas Land'. They say we "have something special in this country" (natural gas) and use imagery of family walking in fields, kids jumping on beds, and nature shots to emphasize their commitment to safe environmental practices and "harmony" with nature. (Pumping toxic chemicals and drilling pipes miles into the earth's crust to fracture rock = harmony with nature?)
While calling in to question certain points of the GasLand film, the ANGA absolutely and remarkably fails to address or respond to ANY of the basic claims of the GasLand film...that natural gas drilling is harmful to humans, animals, and the planet. They simply reiterate their 'commitments', provide no data, and tell us how much we need their product. Then they show a nice shot of a family sitting in an un-fracked pristine wooded area.
To contrast it, GasLand shows the filmmaker asking questions from people who live in fracked communities from coast to coast. He lets them tell their story. He let's them show their water, their cloudy air, their dead wildlife. He let's them showcase their ruined lives and moves on to the next fracked town. This is not to say that every detailed claim made by the people shown in the documentary is factually accurate. But the message is overwhelmingly clear....fracking is causing a whole lot of damage in a whole lot of places. The film essentially poses this question to all of us: Are we going to let this continue to happen?
Back to what the natural gas industry is saying...since this question is supposed to be devoted to them after all. In addition to sponsoring ads on YouTube, the Natural Gas companies seem to be saying an awful lot through their lobbying dollars (see chart below). What do you think?
Who benefits from fracking? Natural Gas Oil companies and their employees benefit financially. Politicians can benefit from financial support of natural gas companies if they support their legislation and many policy makers argue that fracking creates jobs for their constituents and generates income for their state. Individuals who sell rights to the oil companies for drilling benefit minimally financially--initially.
Who loses as a result of fracking?
Individuals and families lose when their land is devalued, water and soil contaminated, and health permanently damaged. Employees of the natural gas industry are shown to have a job-related mortality rate 8 times the annual rate in other US occupations (EPA Hydrofracking Study Plan, 2011, p 56). Animals die when their water becomes contaminated or lose their ancient migratory patterns. We ALL lose because we share water, air, and soil. We also jointly bear the financial and emotional costs when neighbors, family, friends and fellow citizens become sick and even terminally ill as a result of exposure to the toxic chemicals and waste and poison frack fluid.
If it's really that bad, how is it possible that this is happening?
There is no simple answer to this but consider--there are very few federal regulations to protect that land, air and water in the United States. In fact in 2005 President Bush signed the Energy Policy Act that specifically denied the EPA the right to monitor hydrofracking (thank you Dick Cheney for adding that little loophole. How nice of you to do that for your Halliburton friends!). Since then, this decision has been reversed but there are still many policy gaps, lack of human resources and research at a time when the EPA and state environmental protection agencies fund's are being slashed. People are organizing all over the country to demand for studies to be done, demand more transparency from the natural gas industry, and demand that our right to clean air and water be protected, but unfortunately at this time, it is not.
What can I do?
You don't have to be an expert, a scientist, or an activist to decide what you think about fracking. The evidence shows that fracking is NOT a viable way towards clean energy. You can also say this is all ridiculous 'scare mongering' as the natural gas industry has done. (Good luck my fracking friends! Seems to be a risky gamble to me...) The solutions may depend on where you live and how people near you are becoming involved. Writing and calling your representatives at the local, state, and federal level is important! However, many people are getting involved in their town councils and enacting a ban within their town or county...which if your town does the same, NO FRACKING can take place where you live!!! You don't need the state or federal government to pass a bill in order to protect your immediate community. Also, keep in mind that a moratorium is a start but only a ban will prevent fracking from happening.
You can also tell your friends, family and neighbors about this issue and point them to stories like Chrystal Stroud or Craig and Julie Sautner. There is a good chance that if people knew their water and land and even their bodies would be poisoned, that they would say 'NO' to the natural gas companies.
On a more philosophical point, we would do well to use this moment to reflect on how our addiction to fossil fuels is damaging ourselves and the planet. How can we change? How must we change? How must we advocate to those in positions of power and authority in order to secure a sustainable future for ourselves and the next generations? What other questions do we need to ask?
Where can I find more information / (where did you get your information)?
Environmental Protection Agency
Gas Land (Documentary) (Viewed at the Rosendale Theater in Rosendale, NY)
Chesapeake Energy (Media Resources Page)
Frack Action
The Marcellus Effect (Blog)
Shale Gas Fracking: Facts and Figures (The UK Guardian)
Trailer Talk with Sabrina Artel (I met with Sabrina personally on April 30, 2011)
Protecting Our Waters
Frank Finan Picassa Album (many of the photos in this blog are from this album)
Fracking: The Great Gas Shale Rush (BusinessWeek)
Water Withdrawals for Hydrofracking
No Fracking Way! Facebook Group
'Women Fighting Fracking', I attended a session on April 30, 2011 at the Green Feminisms: Women, Sustainability, and Environmental Justice SUNY New Paltz and listened to four women from New York State and Pennsylvania whose neighborhoods are being fracked in New York and Pennsylvania.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Where does the heart of transformation lie?
This past week, I attended two meetings in the same day which focused on environmental initiatives towards more sustainable environmental practices. What I took away from those meetings (besides a mixed-bag of emotions of frustration and inspiration) was a reflection on the way we humans communicate our values and messages to other humans and the difference between resorting to shame and control as an impetus for change rather than inspiration and love.
I am reading The Moral Imagination by peace practitioner, theorist, lecturer, leader, etc. John Paul Lederach. The book is rich with insight and will likely inspire a future blog, but one of the central questions of the book is how does transformational change take place within an individual, a community, a country, and ultimately our world? I have come to view our relationship as a human community to our world as essentially a broken one in need of a transformation and restoration. I have come to this perspective through personal studies, encounters with others, and also most significantly through my year-long involvement as a teaching assistant for the Global Conversation Course. The principles of peacebuilding, which is essentially an endeavor to repair broken relationships at all levels, seem to me to apply to the way we approach a change in our thinking as it relates to how we live on this planet. A discussion on these connections and peacebuilding and The Moral Imagination for a later time, perhaps.
The first meeting involved a group of people from the local and university community of varying ages, influence, and experience with environmental research and activism. The primary goal of the meeting was to explore ways to take action steps to making SUNY New Paltz more energy efficient, touting the phrase 'Save Energy, Save Jobs' with both short and long-term goals. Simple common sense things like 'turn off your power switch in addition to your lights', motion sensor lighting, renovations to make our buildings more energy-efficient, and so on and so forth were proposed. Longer-term goals were obviously more involved and required more significant buy-in from administration and the community.
There was a tension in the room about such and such a point and its feasibility and the usual discussion about how to get the word out. But the REAL tensions underpinning these somewhat superfluous conversations, if I sensed correctly, were competing ideas of priorities in combination with a sense of urgency undercut with a layer of hopelessness that even if we could make people enact these changes it would be a small victory in comparison to what is actually needed. To sharpen the edge, it was clear that several individuals in the room were on the warpath. I try to use war language intentionally these days, or try not to use it at all, and I say this individual was on the warpath because their ideas revolved around ways to force people to make changes against their will that were consistent with their own belief about the way things should be.
I sat there vacillating between asking myself questions like 'is any of this relevant?' (beyond simply the merit of attempt) and 'is this the best we can offer our community?' and to unbridled frustration. My mind was racing. Save Energy Save Jobs may at some level be rationally correct: New York State does pay for utilities and in theory if everyone on 64 SUNY campuses made significantly better energy choices that would free up enough money to not cut as many people as proposed. But, in reality, this feels like utopian propoganda! Everyone knows that if they are vigilant in turning their lights off or sharing a refrigerator that SUNY will NOT translate those savings into fewer job cuts! Why do we bother with this message?!?!?! Another way that we turn to individual choices to try to solve systematic problems. (Click here for an intelligent exploration of this topic.http://www.orionmagazine.org/index.php/articles/article/4801/)
However, my frustrations crystallized when the comment was made to 'include delivery men in the policy to force vehicles to turn off rather than idle when they are on campus.' I thought about the imaginary scenario of some university official knocking on the window of my truck-driving/delivery grandparents (yes plural, my Grandma Martin has been cross-country truck driving with my Grandpa Martin for decades and they continue to do so into their 70's) and demanding they turn off their engines after a long and often grueling treck and with the stated rationale that "Energy efficiency, maa'm, Save Engery, Save Jobs!". I thought about how my father, who has also throughout periods of his life driven trucks to deliver produce to different vendors and how he would receive such a message from such a person. Not favorably, I'll venture.
Will the shared goal of educating people about how we can live more equitably with each other and our planet will be conveyed in such a scenario or the like? I think not. Shame* was the game here and I can smell that rat a mile away. Like most of you, I have prominent memories of how people tried to make me behave in a way they saw fit through shaming. I made some comments to the meeting participants (which in some ways felt like dissent but were honest, if that is still a virtue) and left feeling disappointed with our vision, or lack thereof.
In contrast, the second meeting was a smaller group of people and all of us have volunteered to plan a conference with the theme of 'Women and the Environment' for next year. One of our discussions revolved around the 'mood' we hope to create at the conference. We agreed that whatever structure and workshops we choose for the conference, we want to avoid shaming people. No smug declarations, no one-upping each other on who's carbon footprint is less, no making someone feel bad who walks in with a certain type of coffee or mug or brand of clothing. One of the attendees summed it up nicely when she shared about an experience she had at a similar conference where she felt people stood up and said 'Here is my farm. Here are my chickens. Look at how sustainably I am living.' She aptly exclaimed, "But there was no analysis! Everyone just sat around feeling good about themselves."
We decided that the following is our goal for this conference: We are hungry for a constructive dialogue. We want to celebrate the many different ways that people are striving to live in a more equitable way on this planet. We want people to evaluate their own lives as a part of a larger picture, one in which individual action AND political action are real conduits for change and transformation, whether internal or global. We want a deeper academic analysis as well as a more comprehensive analysis from community activists about what the issues are and how we are affected and can be involved. We want diversity to be visible, artists to be present, and the details to be well-thought out and appropriate. We will make the tensions of our lives, our world, and the systems we both criticize and utilize transparent as best we can. We will not shame. I left feeling inspired.
As one of my mentors says, I have just 'connected the dots' this week. Where does the heart of transformation lie? People, institutions, and societies make long-term changes when they are invited into and inspired by a different story than the one they have been living in. The sharing of the message never guarantees any particular response. Such is the nature of relationships. However, if the means/process is one of inspiration and love, there are possibilities for that to be re-produced. But if the means/process is one of control, blame, and shame any 'changes' will be made out of guilt or with contempt and bitterness and will likely disintegrate at the first chance of free choice in any case. Nonviolent activists for millenia have known this. Spiritual leaders have conveyed this message throughout recorded time. People who have inspired and challenged me to change had enough faith in the truth of their message (which is their life) that they presented me with opportunities to imagine a way different than the one I had known and in many cases made it clear that our relationship remains the same whether I follow a similar path or not.
I am guilty as the next person of trying to 'fix' someone, or to use shame to get someone to change, or to present an idea with passion and measure its success based on its receipt rather than to be content that my spoken truth alone was all that was required. What a joy and a paradox to live life with the hope but not the expectation that the world will become a better place.
*Shame has a place in the life of an individual and in a community as a response to something that is shameful like the Holocaust, the recent US teenage suicides, or our continual needless destruction of our environment. However, shame is useful when it takes the form of remorse or repentance rather than being used as a weapon by a person or group with an agenda for control. What do you think?
P.S. I do not suggest that we invite murderers and war criminals and the like into a world of transformational change without measures of control that we call 'law and order'. However, they too stand within and among these processes of transformational change.
I am reading The Moral Imagination by peace practitioner, theorist, lecturer, leader, etc. John Paul Lederach. The book is rich with insight and will likely inspire a future blog, but one of the central questions of the book is how does transformational change take place within an individual, a community, a country, and ultimately our world? I have come to view our relationship as a human community to our world as essentially a broken one in need of a transformation and restoration. I have come to this perspective through personal studies, encounters with others, and also most significantly through my year-long involvement as a teaching assistant for the Global Conversation Course. The principles of peacebuilding, which is essentially an endeavor to repair broken relationships at all levels, seem to me to apply to the way we approach a change in our thinking as it relates to how we live on this planet. A discussion on these connections and peacebuilding and The Moral Imagination for a later time, perhaps.
The first meeting involved a group of people from the local and university community of varying ages, influence, and experience with environmental research and activism. The primary goal of the meeting was to explore ways to take action steps to making SUNY New Paltz more energy efficient, touting the phrase 'Save Energy, Save Jobs' with both short and long-term goals. Simple common sense things like 'turn off your power switch in addition to your lights', motion sensor lighting, renovations to make our buildings more energy-efficient, and so on and so forth were proposed. Longer-term goals were obviously more involved and required more significant buy-in from administration and the community.
There was a tension in the room about such and such a point and its feasibility and the usual discussion about how to get the word out. But the REAL tensions underpinning these somewhat superfluous conversations, if I sensed correctly, were competing ideas of priorities in combination with a sense of urgency undercut with a layer of hopelessness that even if we could make people enact these changes it would be a small victory in comparison to what is actually needed. To sharpen the edge, it was clear that several individuals in the room were on the warpath. I try to use war language intentionally these days, or try not to use it at all, and I say this individual was on the warpath because their ideas revolved around ways to force people to make changes against their will that were consistent with their own belief about the way things should be.
I sat there vacillating between asking myself questions like 'is any of this relevant?' (beyond simply the merit of attempt) and 'is this the best we can offer our community?' and to unbridled frustration. My mind was racing. Save Energy Save Jobs may at some level be rationally correct: New York State does pay for utilities and in theory if everyone on 64 SUNY campuses made significantly better energy choices that would free up enough money to not cut as many people as proposed. But, in reality, this feels like utopian propoganda! Everyone knows that if they are vigilant in turning their lights off or sharing a refrigerator that SUNY will NOT translate those savings into fewer job cuts! Why do we bother with this message?!?!?! Another way that we turn to individual choices to try to solve systematic problems. (Click here for an intelligent exploration of this topic.http://www.orionmagazine.org/index.php/articles/article/4801/)
However, my frustrations crystallized when the comment was made to 'include delivery men in the policy to force vehicles to turn off rather than idle when they are on campus.' I thought about the imaginary scenario of some university official knocking on the window of my truck-driving/delivery grandparents (yes plural, my Grandma Martin has been cross-country truck driving with my Grandpa Martin for decades and they continue to do so into their 70's) and demanding they turn off their engines after a long and often grueling treck and with the stated rationale that "Energy efficiency, maa'm, Save Engery, Save Jobs!". I thought about how my father, who has also throughout periods of his life driven trucks to deliver produce to different vendors and how he would receive such a message from such a person. Not favorably, I'll venture.
Will the shared goal of educating people about how we can live more equitably with each other and our planet will be conveyed in such a scenario or the like? I think not. Shame* was the game here and I can smell that rat a mile away. Like most of you, I have prominent memories of how people tried to make me behave in a way they saw fit through shaming. I made some comments to the meeting participants (which in some ways felt like dissent but were honest, if that is still a virtue) and left feeling disappointed with our vision, or lack thereof.
In contrast, the second meeting was a smaller group of people and all of us have volunteered to plan a conference with the theme of 'Women and the Environment' for next year. One of our discussions revolved around the 'mood' we hope to create at the conference. We agreed that whatever structure and workshops we choose for the conference, we want to avoid shaming people. No smug declarations, no one-upping each other on who's carbon footprint is less, no making someone feel bad who walks in with a certain type of coffee or mug or brand of clothing. One of the attendees summed it up nicely when she shared about an experience she had at a similar conference where she felt people stood up and said 'Here is my farm. Here are my chickens. Look at how sustainably I am living.' She aptly exclaimed, "But there was no analysis! Everyone just sat around feeling good about themselves."
We decided that the following is our goal for this conference: We are hungry for a constructive dialogue. We want to celebrate the many different ways that people are striving to live in a more equitable way on this planet. We want people to evaluate their own lives as a part of a larger picture, one in which individual action AND political action are real conduits for change and transformation, whether internal or global. We want a deeper academic analysis as well as a more comprehensive analysis from community activists about what the issues are and how we are affected and can be involved. We want diversity to be visible, artists to be present, and the details to be well-thought out and appropriate. We will make the tensions of our lives, our world, and the systems we both criticize and utilize transparent as best we can. We will not shame. I left feeling inspired.
As one of my mentors says, I have just 'connected the dots' this week. Where does the heart of transformation lie? People, institutions, and societies make long-term changes when they are invited into and inspired by a different story than the one they have been living in. The sharing of the message never guarantees any particular response. Such is the nature of relationships. However, if the means/process is one of inspiration and love, there are possibilities for that to be re-produced. But if the means/process is one of control, blame, and shame any 'changes' will be made out of guilt or with contempt and bitterness and will likely disintegrate at the first chance of free choice in any case. Nonviolent activists for millenia have known this. Spiritual leaders have conveyed this message throughout recorded time. People who have inspired and challenged me to change had enough faith in the truth of their message (which is their life) that they presented me with opportunities to imagine a way different than the one I had known and in many cases made it clear that our relationship remains the same whether I follow a similar path or not.
I am guilty as the next person of trying to 'fix' someone, or to use shame to get someone to change, or to present an idea with passion and measure its success based on its receipt rather than to be content that my spoken truth alone was all that was required. What a joy and a paradox to live life with the hope but not the expectation that the world will become a better place.
*Shame has a place in the life of an individual and in a community as a response to something that is shameful like the Holocaust, the recent US teenage suicides, or our continual needless destruction of our environment. However, shame is useful when it takes the form of remorse or repentance rather than being used as a weapon by a person or group with an agenda for control. What do you think?
P.S. I do not suggest that we invite murderers and war criminals and the like into a world of transformational change without measures of control that we call 'law and order'. However, they too stand within and among these processes of transformational change.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
How do you measure a year in the life?
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
One year and a few weeks from my return back to the United States from Derry and I find myself wondering Has it been a year ALREADY?... Has it ONLY been a year? Yes it has only/already been a year: five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred minutes (thank you, Rent for helping me sidestep that actual calculation).
I recently returned to Ireland for a two-week stint, mostly in Co. Kerry and Clare, but also for a brief weekend back up in Derry. Cosmetically, a few things have changed. The Guildhall square had been re-done to sport attractive new fountains, benches and brick. Construction continues on Waterloo street and in the River Foyle for the new pedestrian bridge. The Immigrant Statues are gone and there is a new Cafe on the Strand Road. For the most part, it just felt like every other Sunday I had walked those streets. I felt little to no nostalgia but every sense of feeling like I was a visitor at home. Strange cocktail of emotions.
It's been a big year for Derry. The city recently won UK City of Culture for 2013. This is, of course, controversial for some because the honor is bestowed by the United Kingdom in a town many feel belongs to Ireland. Nonetheless, it is a big deal and it brings positive recognition to a town often overshadowed by London, Belfast, Dublin and Cork. The video captures the essence of Derry quite well. Watching it makes me realize that I miss the accent as much as the city itself and the people who remain there.
A monumental moment in history also captured international press this summer. The long-awaited Saville Report, also known as the Bloody Sunday Inquiry, was released to the public on June 15, 2010 and no one in Derry will forget that day. The report concluded that British PARA did, in fact, kill 13 unarmed and fleeing civilians in the streets on January 30, 1972, and that the British soldiers had tried to cover up what really happened on Bloody Sunday. British Prime Minister David Cameron issued a historic apology in which he described what British soldiers had done as "both unjustified and unjustifiable, it was wrong." Despite controversy over the cost of the inquiry--£400 million to date-- and also the fact that no one at a high level was truly implicated or held responsible, it was a day of victory for many.
Derry~Londonderry, a city of culture in transition was bombed just weeks ago. No one was killed or injured, but it was a sinister reminder that some are still holding onto the mentality that 'bombs cast a powerful vote'. A car bomb exploded outside of the police station just minutes from my old apartment. Such acts have been condemned by those from all communities and political perspectives, but the usual suspects continue to plague Northern Ireland with their worn-out rhetoric and uncreative means of communicating their ideas with their own society.
It's been a big year for me too. I am fairly certain I say that every year and there is a part of me that fears the day when I will not be able to say that. I started over once again in a new state, a new town, in a new job. In a curious way, the familiarity of that process for me (in 7 years: 3 moves to a different State, 2 moves to a different country, 13 moves to a different house/apartment) does actually lessen the difficulty that transition often presents. I am nearly one year now in New Paltz. The now familiar site of the Mohonk Mountain House tower on the Shawangunk Mountains and the contours of the Catskill Mountains remind me that I am home. I enjoy the funky little Main Street of New Paltz and the eclectic mix of students, rock climbers and other outdoor enthusiasts, bikers, New York City and Long Island transplants, working professionals, hippies, artists, and everyone in between. I like that I can be in midtown Manhatten in less than two hours on a weekend whim or conversely, climbing a rock face less than 30 minutes after I close my office door at the end of a work day. It is now geographically possible to see my family in Pennsylvania more than two or three times a year and that feels nice.
I'm not sure how to measure a year in the life but it seems to me that what I keep coming back to is who and what will stay and go? In my nearly one year in New Paltz, friends have come and gone, relationships have come and gone, and my students have come and gone. I continue to edit my worldview and keep or throw away my ideas, lifestyles, bias, and habits. It's a thrill and a heartbreak.
As I reflect on this past year while anticipating the start of another (for me, years feel like they start in August with classes--I am still operating on University time!), I wonder once again what and who in this coming year will stay and what and who will go? And although I have no immediate plans or intentions of leaving this place I call home, always at the back of my wander-lust mind is the question of, when will I go? Could I stay? I don't know the answer to that question but I look onward to another year and remain thankful for my year in Derry and this year of transition in New York.
In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
One year and a few weeks from my return back to the United States from Derry and I find myself wondering Has it been a year ALREADY?... Has it ONLY been a year? Yes it has only/already been a year: five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred minutes (thank you, Rent for helping me sidestep that actual calculation).
I recently returned to Ireland for a two-week stint, mostly in Co. Kerry and Clare, but also for a brief weekend back up in Derry. Cosmetically, a few things have changed. The Guildhall square had been re-done to sport attractive new fountains, benches and brick. Construction continues on Waterloo street and in the River Foyle for the new pedestrian bridge. The Immigrant Statues are gone and there is a new Cafe on the Strand Road. For the most part, it just felt like every other Sunday I had walked those streets. I felt little to no nostalgia but every sense of feeling like I was a visitor at home. Strange cocktail of emotions.
It's been a big year for Derry. The city recently won UK City of Culture for 2013. This is, of course, controversial for some because the honor is bestowed by the United Kingdom in a town many feel belongs to Ireland. Nonetheless, it is a big deal and it brings positive recognition to a town often overshadowed by London, Belfast, Dublin and Cork. The video captures the essence of Derry quite well. Watching it makes me realize that I miss the accent as much as the city itself and the people who remain there.
A monumental moment in history also captured international press this summer. The long-awaited Saville Report, also known as the Bloody Sunday Inquiry, was released to the public on June 15, 2010 and no one in Derry will forget that day. The report concluded that British PARA did, in fact, kill 13 unarmed and fleeing civilians in the streets on January 30, 1972, and that the British soldiers had tried to cover up what really happened on Bloody Sunday. British Prime Minister David Cameron issued a historic apology in which he described what British soldiers had done as "both unjustified and unjustifiable, it was wrong." Despite controversy over the cost of the inquiry--£400 million to date-- and also the fact that no one at a high level was truly implicated or held responsible, it was a day of victory for many.
Derry~Londonderry, a city of culture in transition was bombed just weeks ago. No one was killed or injured, but it was a sinister reminder that some are still holding onto the mentality that 'bombs cast a powerful vote'. A car bomb exploded outside of the police station just minutes from my old apartment. Such acts have been condemned by those from all communities and political perspectives, but the usual suspects continue to plague Northern Ireland with their worn-out rhetoric and uncreative means of communicating their ideas with their own society.
It's been a big year for me too. I am fairly certain I say that every year and there is a part of me that fears the day when I will not be able to say that. I started over once again in a new state, a new town, in a new job. In a curious way, the familiarity of that process for me (in 7 years: 3 moves to a different State, 2 moves to a different country, 13 moves to a different house/apartment) does actually lessen the difficulty that transition often presents. I am nearly one year now in New Paltz. The now familiar site of the Mohonk Mountain House tower on the Shawangunk Mountains and the contours of the Catskill Mountains remind me that I am home. I enjoy the funky little Main Street of New Paltz and the eclectic mix of students, rock climbers and other outdoor enthusiasts, bikers, New York City and Long Island transplants, working professionals, hippies, artists, and everyone in between. I like that I can be in midtown Manhatten in less than two hours on a weekend whim or conversely, climbing a rock face less than 30 minutes after I close my office door at the end of a work day. It is now geographically possible to see my family in Pennsylvania more than two or three times a year and that feels nice.
I'm not sure how to measure a year in the life but it seems to me that what I keep coming back to is who and what will stay and go? In my nearly one year in New Paltz, friends have come and gone, relationships have come and gone, and my students have come and gone. I continue to edit my worldview and keep or throw away my ideas, lifestyles, bias, and habits. It's a thrill and a heartbreak.
As I reflect on this past year while anticipating the start of another (for me, years feel like they start in August with classes--I am still operating on University time!), I wonder once again what and who in this coming year will stay and what and who will go? And although I have no immediate plans or intentions of leaving this place I call home, always at the back of my wander-lust mind is the question of, when will I go? Could I stay? I don't know the answer to that question but I look onward to another year and remain thankful for my year in Derry and this year of transition in New York.
In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Living by False Premises
The film Up In The Air, though quixotic and fairly predictable, was charming and posed some questions that humans seem to ask quite frequently.
Is it better to risk waking up to a stale marriage in your late thirties, settled with a mortgage and kids but comfortable and content enough? Or is it better to keep your mobility and options open, commitment free and unattached but quite alone and forgettable and even regrettable to those you encounter? Does technology replace or only enhance human interaction? Can 'home' be everywhere or more than one place? Is 'family' obligation and loyalty more important inherently than our obligations to our created social families? Is it natural and healthy to create a blue-print for our lives or is it our deeper neurotic impulses that lead us to construct our plans in order to feel more in control of what is ultimately unpredictable and bordering chaotic?
It strikes me that the above-mentioned scenarios are neither better nor worse than each other. In fact, asking them in such a fashion distracts the questioner from the overarching point--the true nature of our heart's desires. All of the characters in this film were creating a way of life for themselves by chasing after milestones (marriage, 10 million miles, successful career) which symbolized their deeper desires (love, freedom, stability, happiness). If we receive a trophy for that which we have not truly achieved, it is only a plastic statue. Yet we humans tend to live by the false premises that "if A" then "B". If I get married, then I will be loved (or at least not lonely). If I travel around the world or put my job above relationships, remaining singularly unattached, I will always be free and there will be no risk of getting trapped. If my life follows my pre-set plan and conforms to my expectations, I will be secure and happy.
Upon closer inspection, it is evident that physical circumstances cannot lead to the fulfillment of our deepest desires. We can celebrate all circumstances and derive joy from them but they are not the source of our joy. Our outward realities and relationships may give the appearance of success and fulfillment, but ultimately if we desire love, freedom and security neither marriage nor a life of travel nor a high-paying successful job will lead us towards those experiences if our minds and our hearts are not already finding love and freedom and security throughout our day. Might we consider that our heart's desires and their fulfillment flow from the same source?
Is it better to risk waking up to a stale marriage in your late thirties, settled with a mortgage and kids but comfortable and content enough? Or is it better to keep your mobility and options open, commitment free and unattached but quite alone and forgettable and even regrettable to those you encounter? Does technology replace or only enhance human interaction? Can 'home' be everywhere or more than one place? Is 'family' obligation and loyalty more important inherently than our obligations to our created social families? Is it natural and healthy to create a blue-print for our lives or is it our deeper neurotic impulses that lead us to construct our plans in order to feel more in control of what is ultimately unpredictable and bordering chaotic?
It strikes me that the above-mentioned scenarios are neither better nor worse than each other. In fact, asking them in such a fashion distracts the questioner from the overarching point--the true nature of our heart's desires. All of the characters in this film were creating a way of life for themselves by chasing after milestones (marriage, 10 million miles, successful career) which symbolized their deeper desires (love, freedom, stability, happiness). If we receive a trophy for that which we have not truly achieved, it is only a plastic statue. Yet we humans tend to live by the false premises that "if A" then "B". If I get married, then I will be loved (or at least not lonely). If I travel around the world or put my job above relationships, remaining singularly unattached, I will always be free and there will be no risk of getting trapped. If my life follows my pre-set plan and conforms to my expectations, I will be secure and happy.
Upon closer inspection, it is evident that physical circumstances cannot lead to the fulfillment of our deepest desires. We can celebrate all circumstances and derive joy from them but they are not the source of our joy. Our outward realities and relationships may give the appearance of success and fulfillment, but ultimately if we desire love, freedom and security neither marriage nor a life of travel nor a high-paying successful job will lead us towards those experiences if our minds and our hearts are not already finding love and freedom and security throughout our day. Might we consider that our heart's desires and their fulfillment flow from the same source?
Sunday, May 2, 2010
You Didn't Ask But I Will Tell
From glass alabaster she poured out the depths of her soul...
The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) policy was repealed earlier this week*. Five gay teens committed suicide in the fall, causing an outpouring of sympathy and calls to action such as the 'It Gets Better' project. In 2009, Ugandan politicians proposed an Anti-Homosexuality bill which would criminalize being gay with provisions for imprisonment and even death. Earlier this year, Christian music artist Jennifer Knapp announced publicly that she is a lesbian and elicited both support and outrage.
The conversation that our society is having about homosexuality has been in my mind for a long time now and I have been working on throwing in my two cents for several months now. Why? Because my gay and lesbian friends and the gay and lesbian community have played a significant role in helping me redefine my own identity as a human being and to learn more about justice, compassion, equality, and service.
When Jennifer Knapp came out, she interviewed with 'Larry King Live', Christianity Today and the Advocate. I watched and/or read all of these interviews. I feel a personal connection with her story for several reasons. One, I grew up listening to her songs and even playing them for public audiences. Two, I have come from one understanding to an entirely different understanding about homosexuality in the course of my life. And three, recently I have had some very interesting discussions with people about modern homosexual experiences and realities. There are multiple layers to this story and it is one that sinks into my very core. To tell it is to expose. I appreciate Jennifer for how she has told her story not only through music but now also in the public forums that expose her to the two sided coin of scrutiny-- criticism and support.
In the community I grew up in, homosexuality was definitely in the Sin Box. The wrongness of it was on par with the blanket wrongness of abortion and adultery and divorce. I was told that "all sin is sin" but everyone knew the subtext: some sins really are MUCH worse. Engaging in the lesser-but-still-somehow-equal sins of pride, arrogance, greed, unkindness, and well... judgment were individual matters that everyone was expected to square away privately with God. But homosexuality... that makes you an open target for public, private and personal judgment.
Since homosexuality was under no circumstances considered a biological reality, we had to be given a reason for why people would choose to be gay and subject themselves to public ridicule, social stigma, and fewer legal rights and social benefits. The video my high school administration selected for us to watch told me that gays were often abused as children or suffered poor relationships with their parents and were basically acting out their trauma later in life. Also, I was told that in the same way some people are predisposed towards alcoholism people are predisposed to being gay but that they ultimately have the choice whether or not to fall into a sinful life or to seek help and become straight-- or at least to just not act on their tendencies, deny all sexual connections and live a celibate life.
At the time, I didn't have gay friends and I liked boys so I had no personal internal struggle to cause me to question the legitimacy of this perspective. Once upon a time in my life being gay was wrong and unnatural and it was one of the pillars of moral belief that one just didn't question.
Then in college, one of my friends, who belonged to a different church denomination than I did, told me that gay people could be members at their church (and consequently, women could also be pastors. Imagine that!). I argued with her about the inconsistencies of this premise based on such and such a Bible verse. I was pretty upset about it because it seemed like a glaring error for a whole entire Bible-believing denomination to make, but she didn't seem to mind that I disagreed with her and shrugged her shoulders and just said that is what their church believed.
About a year later, I read an interview in our student newspaper from our student body president who was not only openly gay, but also an active member for the same faith community I was a part of. I knew we claimed the same brand of faith because he used some of the 'code words' that people of my particular faith at the time used to describe themselves and their relationship to God and the church. He got a lot of ridicule for his position, particularly at the southern university I attended. I kept the magazine with me for a few days and read that interview again and again. He was not only gay and an active church member, but also dedicated to community service. What really got me thinking though, was how he responded to criticism and accusations and derogatory labels from his own faith community with such GRACE. It occurred to me that I had heard that word "grace" quite a bit over the years but that he was exhibiting something with his life that described this word in a way that I didn't often see from people who used that word the most. Including myself.
During my study abroad experience in Cyprus, 3 of my American peers were gay. I wasn't particularly close with any one of them but I enjoyed their company and also the fact that I could hang out with them without feeling like I was somehow condoning their lifestyle just by associating myself with them directly. Thousands of miles away from home, I could approach them simply as people and not as a "person who I fundamentally disagreed with." I didn't seem to care anymore what I thought about gay people and nobody there was looking for me to justify why I felt it was fine to befriend them.
Since graduating from college, I have worked for gay people and become friends with gay and lesbians and transgendered people and also continued friendships with old friends who have since come out. Most of the time we are just enjoying each other's company, but like all marginalized people, their reality is different than mine. I have seen and heard similar stories over and over again of ill-treatment and discrimination, particularly from groups of people who claim to live by love and faith.
So and so's father doesn't know she likes women and will refuse to pay for her school if he finds out. So and so wants to get married to his partner of nearly a decade and with whom he shares a home and a life, but the government says his relationship is illegitimate. So and so was called a dyke or a fag in the streets and someone tried to throw something out their window at her. Jennifer Knapp was told on national television that she cannot love both God and women.
Yet in spite of these ugly realities, so many of the openly homosexual people that I know personally or have come into contact with are comfortable being who they are in spite of discrimination, hate, and violence against them. In an apt reply to the condemnation of some in the Christian community, Jennifer Knapp is now able to say , “I’m quite comfortable to live with parts of myself that don’t make sense to you” (Advocate interview).
I too, have had to say this phrase over and over again in different ways in my life. I owe so much to my LGBT friends and mentors who set a strong example of how to be who you are without excuse but always with an openness to learn, reform and love in new capacities.
" ...hold onto what is honest and true, and let the rest of it just burn."
.......................................................................................................................................................................
*Read reports (and note the interesting way that this is reported differently) on the Huffington Post, Catholic News Agency, ABC News, Fox News
**beginning and end quotes are by Jennifer Knapp.
The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) policy was repealed earlier this week*. Five gay teens committed suicide in the fall, causing an outpouring of sympathy and calls to action such as the 'It Gets Better' project. In 2009, Ugandan politicians proposed an Anti-Homosexuality bill which would criminalize being gay with provisions for imprisonment and even death. Earlier this year, Christian music artist Jennifer Knapp announced publicly that she is a lesbian and elicited both support and outrage.
The conversation that our society is having about homosexuality has been in my mind for a long time now and I have been working on throwing in my two cents for several months now. Why? Because my gay and lesbian friends and the gay and lesbian community have played a significant role in helping me redefine my own identity as a human being and to learn more about justice, compassion, equality, and service.
When Jennifer Knapp came out, she interviewed with 'Larry King Live', Christianity Today and the Advocate. I watched and/or read all of these interviews. I feel a personal connection with her story for several reasons. One, I grew up listening to her songs and even playing them for public audiences. Two, I have come from one understanding to an entirely different understanding about homosexuality in the course of my life. And three, recently I have had some very interesting discussions with people about modern homosexual experiences and realities. There are multiple layers to this story and it is one that sinks into my very core. To tell it is to expose. I appreciate Jennifer for how she has told her story not only through music but now also in the public forums that expose her to the two sided coin of scrutiny-- criticism and support.
In the community I grew up in, homosexuality was definitely in the Sin Box. The wrongness of it was on par with the blanket wrongness of abortion and adultery and divorce. I was told that "all sin is sin" but everyone knew the subtext: some sins really are MUCH worse. Engaging in the lesser-but-still-somehow-equal sins of pride, arrogance, greed, unkindness, and well... judgment were individual matters that everyone was expected to square away privately with God. But homosexuality... that makes you an open target for public, private and personal judgment.
Since homosexuality was under no circumstances considered a biological reality, we had to be given a reason for why people would choose to be gay and subject themselves to public ridicule, social stigma, and fewer legal rights and social benefits. The video my high school administration selected for us to watch told me that gays were often abused as children or suffered poor relationships with their parents and were basically acting out their trauma later in life. Also, I was told that in the same way some people are predisposed towards alcoholism people are predisposed to being gay but that they ultimately have the choice whether or not to fall into a sinful life or to seek help and become straight-- or at least to just not act on their tendencies, deny all sexual connections and live a celibate life.
At the time, I didn't have gay friends and I liked boys so I had no personal internal struggle to cause me to question the legitimacy of this perspective. Once upon a time in my life being gay was wrong and unnatural and it was one of the pillars of moral belief that one just didn't question.
Then in college, one of my friends, who belonged to a different church denomination than I did, told me that gay people could be members at their church (and consequently, women could also be pastors. Imagine that!). I argued with her about the inconsistencies of this premise based on such and such a Bible verse. I was pretty upset about it because it seemed like a glaring error for a whole entire Bible-believing denomination to make, but she didn't seem to mind that I disagreed with her and shrugged her shoulders and just said that is what their church believed.
About a year later, I read an interview in our student newspaper from our student body president who was not only openly gay, but also an active member for the same faith community I was a part of. I knew we claimed the same brand of faith because he used some of the 'code words' that people of my particular faith at the time used to describe themselves and their relationship to God and the church. He got a lot of ridicule for his position, particularly at the southern university I attended. I kept the magazine with me for a few days and read that interview again and again. He was not only gay and an active church member, but also dedicated to community service. What really got me thinking though, was how he responded to criticism and accusations and derogatory labels from his own faith community with such GRACE. It occurred to me that I had heard that word "grace" quite a bit over the years but that he was exhibiting something with his life that described this word in a way that I didn't often see from people who used that word the most. Including myself.
During my study abroad experience in Cyprus, 3 of my American peers were gay. I wasn't particularly close with any one of them but I enjoyed their company and also the fact that I could hang out with them without feeling like I was somehow condoning their lifestyle just by associating myself with them directly. Thousands of miles away from home, I could approach them simply as people and not as a "person who I fundamentally disagreed with." I didn't seem to care anymore what I thought about gay people and nobody there was looking for me to justify why I felt it was fine to befriend them.
Since graduating from college, I have worked for gay people and become friends with gay and lesbians and transgendered people and also continued friendships with old friends who have since come out. Most of the time we are just enjoying each other's company, but like all marginalized people, their reality is different than mine. I have seen and heard similar stories over and over again of ill-treatment and discrimination, particularly from groups of people who claim to live by love and faith.
So and so's father doesn't know she likes women and will refuse to pay for her school if he finds out. So and so wants to get married to his partner of nearly a decade and with whom he shares a home and a life, but the government says his relationship is illegitimate. So and so was called a dyke or a fag in the streets and someone tried to throw something out their window at her. Jennifer Knapp was told on national television that she cannot love both God and women.
Yet in spite of these ugly realities, so many of the openly homosexual people that I know personally or have come into contact with are comfortable being who they are in spite of discrimination, hate, and violence against them. In an apt reply to the condemnation of some in the Christian community, Jennifer Knapp is now able to say , “I’m quite comfortable to live with parts of myself that don’t make sense to you” (Advocate interview).
I too, have had to say this phrase over and over again in different ways in my life. I owe so much to my LGBT friends and mentors who set a strong example of how to be who you are without excuse but always with an openness to learn, reform and love in new capacities.
" ...hold onto what is honest and true, and let the rest of it just burn."
.......................................................................................................................................................................
*Read reports (and note the interesting way that this is reported differently) on the Huffington Post, Catholic News Agency, ABC News, Fox News
**beginning and end quotes are by Jennifer Knapp.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The fine line between Capable and Culpable
A wise man will never impawn his future being and action, and decide beforehand what he shall do in a given extreme event. Nature and God will instruct him in that hour.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Sam, would you ever (...)?" I took another bite of sushi and paused for a moment to consider the question. Would I ever? Well I haven't yet and probably won't, but my response (a surprise even to myself) flowed out automatically. "I'm definitely capable of it," I said.
In another recent scene from my life, I received a message from an old friend who shared a YouTube video of a live performance of the song "Revolution" by the Beatles. In this particular version John Lennon added the word "in" softly before the chorus that proclaims "when you talk about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out (in)." Lennon later explained in an interview that he couldn't say whether or not he would always be opposed to destruction, but that he currently was. My friend commented that Lennon's "ability for a notable cultural icon of peace to make such a statement is so revolutionary, but yet is very sensible and honest..."
Last year in my peace and conflict studies graduate program in Northern Ireland, I too understood, perhaps for the first time, that I was capable of destruction. Capable of violence. Capable of genocide. As I sat through lectures on terrorism, war, and genocide and looked more closely at how societies entrenched in violent conflict reach the point where there are death camps, killing fields, and "necessary" wars, I remember distinctly coming to a point where I thought to myself with a pit in my stomach... I am capable of this. Not because I am a "bad" person but because I realized that the Germans in the 30's and 40's weren't somehow more inherently "bad" people and neither were the Conquistadors, Crusaders, slave traders, colonialists, imperialists, and oppressors of every kind in their hour of darkness. They made choices, series of choices, collective choices day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year that led them to a time where it was rational and justified to kill, maim, rape and pillage others in the name of various causes, often so-called righteous causes.
So even if it is true that I am capable of the most horrific of deeds, it is not to assert that I would inevitably carry out the extreme evils if given the chance. However, this is the crux of the matter-- nothing is inevitable. Our assumptions about the strength of our individual moral composition do not make them true. However, it is to assert that the same selfish, unkind, and bigoted compulsions that would cause me to say an unkind word, think an unkind thought, or turn away callously from another's suffering is the same drive that would arise and compel me towards more sinister deeds if left unchecked or unrecognized.
You might at this point protest my theory by saying, "But I really never would do such and such a thing!" My response would be, how do you know? What proof do you have to substantiate your claims? Even the past is no indication of what you will face in the future. What you think you know is a mere belief and perception of your Self (and often the most noble conception of Self at that). But are our best hopes for ourselves to be considered on par with reality? Are our fantasies of our heroic Self in a yet-to-be-realized future the closest we can come to the truth? What are the consequences of refusing to rid ourselves of these delusions? What is the alternative to holding onto these illusions?
Feeding these false constructions of Self prevents us from addressing our Self fully as we are right now. In the Christian New Testament, before Christ is crucified he tells his disciples that they will deny him. One of the disciples, Peter, vehemently denies this vowing to stand by his friend and teacher to his death. When he is asked in actuality to stand by Jesus, he denies him and the Bible says he wept bitterly in shame. Peter was humbled when he realized his best ideas about who he was as a person were a farce and that in order to move forward with his life and his work in love he had to acknowledge who he really was, as he was.
What is a possible alternative? John Lennon had the courage to distance himself from the magical thinking of believing he knew what he would think and how he would act for the rest of his life. I think maybe he understood that he was capable of destruction and it was for that reason that he consciously chose to oppose it in that moment. This seems to me to be a refreshing, honest, and humble approach to living out our lives. What do I believe? When I tell you, be suspicious. Look at how I am living and then you will know what it is that I hold dear.
When I was a child, I distinctly remember sitting through many sermons where the pastor or evangelist challenged the audience to consider whether or not we would withstand tortures of all kinds and die for the faith that each of us claimed at that time. The question typically hung in a heavy silence as each pondered a scenario where one would have to face such a decision. I cannot say what everyone else was going through internally, but at the time, I remember feeling that if I could somehow answer and truly believe that YES! I would become a martyr... that somehow I was a better person and a better Christian. Looking back on those times, it seems like such a misplaced inquiry, grounded in no actual reality and nothing more than a shallow shaming exercise meant to lead one to make false assertions and thus strengthen the religious identity.
However, I understand the benefit of imagining what you might or might not do in any given circumstance, or what you would have done differently if considering the past. But the primary value of such exercises is that it encourages reflection on who you are in the present moment. Such imaginings neither confirm nor deny what you would or would not actually do in the Present moment of the Future. Strip away the illusions of the Self in a future circumstance and what remains is the Self in this moment. Nothing less and nothing more. The reverse can also be stated, let go of the memory of Self in the past, and what is left is a Self who has come into this moment. Nothing less and nothing more.
What this means, then, is that at no moment are we able to stand in judgment of others if our moral high ground is leveled as we come to a deep understanding of our own capacity to do the same as another in the same circumstances. Even if we contemplate our day to day encounters, we might be more inclined to extend grace to an ungracious person because we know that we are not only capable but often culpable of the same.
So, this reflection ultimately has culminated into the realization that I do not need to construct false beliefs that I will be a hero and shun cowardice in a moment where courage is needed. The truth of the matter is, the closest I can come to being a hero is paying attention to right-thinking (orthodoxy) and right-doing (orthopraxy) RIGHT NOW. I can claim that I will act with courage in the hour that it is needed, but indulging in such a fantasy is ultimately worthless. This is Pride, the manifestation of ego, which declares to know the Self by dogmatically constructing an identity around an ideology and thus effectively avoiding true reflection and possible transformation.
Doing flows from being (or, the Do-er is an extension of the Be-er). How am I being in my life right now? What does what I do say about who I am?
We are capable of all things, but not culpable of all things and there is a fine line that runs between them. Realizing this precipitates the welcome death of a false charade of Self.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Sam, would you ever (...)?" I took another bite of sushi and paused for a moment to consider the question. Would I ever? Well I haven't yet and probably won't, but my response (a surprise even to myself) flowed out automatically. "I'm definitely capable of it," I said.
In another recent scene from my life, I received a message from an old friend who shared a YouTube video of a live performance of the song "Revolution" by the Beatles. In this particular version John Lennon added the word "in" softly before the chorus that proclaims "when you talk about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out (in)." Lennon later explained in an interview that he couldn't say whether or not he would always be opposed to destruction, but that he currently was. My friend commented that Lennon's "ability for a notable cultural icon of peace to make such a statement is so revolutionary, but yet is very sensible and honest..."
Last year in my peace and conflict studies graduate program in Northern Ireland, I too understood, perhaps for the first time, that I was capable of destruction. Capable of violence. Capable of genocide. As I sat through lectures on terrorism, war, and genocide and looked more closely at how societies entrenched in violent conflict reach the point where there are death camps, killing fields, and "necessary" wars, I remember distinctly coming to a point where I thought to myself with a pit in my stomach... I am capable of this. Not because I am a "bad" person but because I realized that the Germans in the 30's and 40's weren't somehow more inherently "bad" people and neither were the Conquistadors, Crusaders, slave traders, colonialists, imperialists, and oppressors of every kind in their hour of darkness. They made choices, series of choices, collective choices day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year that led them to a time where it was rational and justified to kill, maim, rape and pillage others in the name of various causes, often so-called righteous causes.
So even if it is true that I am capable of the most horrific of deeds, it is not to assert that I would inevitably carry out the extreme evils if given the chance. However, this is the crux of the matter-- nothing is inevitable. Our assumptions about the strength of our individual moral composition do not make them true. However, it is to assert that the same selfish, unkind, and bigoted compulsions that would cause me to say an unkind word, think an unkind thought, or turn away callously from another's suffering is the same drive that would arise and compel me towards more sinister deeds if left unchecked or unrecognized.
You might at this point protest my theory by saying, "But I really never would do such and such a thing!" My response would be, how do you know? What proof do you have to substantiate your claims? Even the past is no indication of what you will face in the future. What you think you know is a mere belief and perception of your Self (and often the most noble conception of Self at that). But are our best hopes for ourselves to be considered on par with reality? Are our fantasies of our heroic Self in a yet-to-be-realized future the closest we can come to the truth? What are the consequences of refusing to rid ourselves of these delusions? What is the alternative to holding onto these illusions?
Feeding these false constructions of Self prevents us from addressing our Self fully as we are right now. In the Christian New Testament, before Christ is crucified he tells his disciples that they will deny him. One of the disciples, Peter, vehemently denies this vowing to stand by his friend and teacher to his death. When he is asked in actuality to stand by Jesus, he denies him and the Bible says he wept bitterly in shame. Peter was humbled when he realized his best ideas about who he was as a person were a farce and that in order to move forward with his life and his work in love he had to acknowledge who he really was, as he was.
What is a possible alternative? John Lennon had the courage to distance himself from the magical thinking of believing he knew what he would think and how he would act for the rest of his life. I think maybe he understood that he was capable of destruction and it was for that reason that he consciously chose to oppose it in that moment. This seems to me to be a refreshing, honest, and humble approach to living out our lives. What do I believe? When I tell you, be suspicious. Look at how I am living and then you will know what it is that I hold dear.
When I was a child, I distinctly remember sitting through many sermons where the pastor or evangelist challenged the audience to consider whether or not we would withstand tortures of all kinds and die for the faith that each of us claimed at that time. The question typically hung in a heavy silence as each pondered a scenario where one would have to face such a decision. I cannot say what everyone else was going through internally, but at the time, I remember feeling that if I could somehow answer and truly believe that YES! I would become a martyr... that somehow I was a better person and a better Christian. Looking back on those times, it seems like such a misplaced inquiry, grounded in no actual reality and nothing more than a shallow shaming exercise meant to lead one to make false assertions and thus strengthen the religious identity.
However, I understand the benefit of imagining what you might or might not do in any given circumstance, or what you would have done differently if considering the past. But the primary value of such exercises is that it encourages reflection on who you are in the present moment. Such imaginings neither confirm nor deny what you would or would not actually do in the Present moment of the Future. Strip away the illusions of the Self in a future circumstance and what remains is the Self in this moment. Nothing less and nothing more. The reverse can also be stated, let go of the memory of Self in the past, and what is left is a Self who has come into this moment. Nothing less and nothing more.
What this means, then, is that at no moment are we able to stand in judgment of others if our moral high ground is leveled as we come to a deep understanding of our own capacity to do the same as another in the same circumstances. Even if we contemplate our day to day encounters, we might be more inclined to extend grace to an ungracious person because we know that we are not only capable but often culpable of the same.
So, this reflection ultimately has culminated into the realization that I do not need to construct false beliefs that I will be a hero and shun cowardice in a moment where courage is needed. The truth of the matter is, the closest I can come to being a hero is paying attention to right-thinking (orthodoxy) and right-doing (orthopraxy) RIGHT NOW. I can claim that I will act with courage in the hour that it is needed, but indulging in such a fantasy is ultimately worthless. This is Pride, the manifestation of ego, which declares to know the Self by dogmatically constructing an identity around an ideology and thus effectively avoiding true reflection and possible transformation.
Doing flows from being (or, the Do-er is an extension of the Be-er). How am I being in my life right now? What does what I do say about who I am?
We are capable of all things, but not culpable of all things and there is a fine line that runs between them. Realizing this precipitates the welcome death of a false charade of Self.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The Tragedy of Gaza
This time a year ago the world watched as Israel launched an offensive in the Gaza strip. I was living in Derry, Northern Ireland at the time. A significant portion of the population in Derry identifies as a people in solidarity with the Palestinians due to the similarities in their conflict. Free Gaza, the graffiti on the walls said. A simulated refugee camp was set up at Free Derry corner. Raytheon (a plant that builds weapons) received more attention than usual and was broken into. People carried Palestinian flags around as they walked the streets. Special lectures and fundraisers were given.
Although I was studying in Northern Ireland as a graduate student in Peace and Conflict studies, I largely observed these things. Not because I did not sympathize with the messages or the people, but because I wanted to take the observer standpoint. I was a foreign student living in society undergoing their own peace process. I was an American student in a foreign country at a time that my country was at war in Iraq and Afghanistan and undergoing a historic election. I was trying to listen and learn and think critically about the onslaught of information that I was taking in from the streets, my books, the lecture halls, the workshops and seminars, the news, and the people who were my friends and those I was in close relationship with.
It was a year of wrestling with Big Questions on all fronts. Identity and war. Nationalism. Terrorism. Aid and development. Colonialism and Imperialism. Statebuilding. The environment. Globalization, global governance, global institutions. Peace processes. The role of education. Northern Ireland. The Balkans. Iraq. Cambodia. Rwanda. Congo. Israel and Palestine and of course, Gaza.
Through all of it, I struggled to understand. Struggled to listen. Struggled to reserve judgment and understand the human story in all sides. Struggled to see justice. Sometimes struggled to hope.
The rest of this blog deals with a time towards the end of my year in Derry when I let go of the desire to be an observer and a learner and allowed myself to grieve in my heart and with my body and to let the grief spill over into this blog and its writing. I did not publish it at the time because I was not physically or emotionally able to follow up on the bibliography the way that I wanted to. But one year after the tragedy of Gaza, I return to that moment and offer this up to whoever will read it as a story that needs to be told and heard.
Written in Summer 2009 but edited and updated in parts:
I saw a play tonight called Seven Jewish Children at the Derry Playhouse. The play lasted 10 minutes in which 7 different characters (who you quickly figure out are Jewish) give brief monologues about what to “tell her,” a daughter or granddaughter. The play was powerful and moving. I could explain the play but if you have 10 minutes, it is worth watching one of the versions on YouTube. (I’ve selected this one done in Chicago because of the relatively good sound quality. Each rendition of this play is done differently, which was intentional on the part of the playwright Caryl Churchill who wanted it to be adopted all around the world, which it was.
After the play, a panel sat on stage and conducted a discussion. One woman was with Amnesty International. Two men were actors in the play. One was a medical doctor who recently went on a medical mission to Gaza. The dialogue was powerful and poignant, particularly when parallels were drawn into the context here in Northern Ireland, and even Derry specifically. Reflections on how the oppressed can become oppressors.
But the play is on the back of my mind right now. I just picked up Amnesty International’s report on “Operation Cast Lead,” the Israeli offensive into the Gaza strip for 22 days starting December 27, 2008 and ending January18, 2009. I had to put it down several times. I sat in silence for a few moments after reading through it and I had to write. I only have 56 of the 106 pages of the report. But it is enough…I have to write.
Before I give my own summary of this report in a made-up interview style, I must make several things abundantly clear. First of all, this will be difficult to read. Secondly, this is a human tragedy that cannot be justified regardless of your politics, religion, or beliefs about Israel or Palestine. Thirdly, I am not “against Israel.” To be frank, it’s not even relevant in regards to what happened earlier this year in Gaza, and I refuse to engage in a dialogue that forces me to stand in a FOR or AGAINST corner, as if either of these categories truly exist with justification.
Therefore, whenever I refer to “Israel” in this blog, it is to refer to the leaders within the borders of the nation-state of Israel who are responsible for making the decision to launch this attack on Gaza and those in Israel who support that decision. (And as a matter of critical inquiry, how do we expect to have constructive conversation when we resort to reductionist phrases such as “I am FOR or AGAINST [insert a nation here]?” What does one mean? Are you FOR all of their international policies? Some of them? What about their domestic ones? Are you FOR their military? The existence of their military or supportive of the decisions of the military? Are you FOR all of their people? Some of them? Are you FOR their culture? Which ones? The mainstream? The minority groups? Are you FOR their religion? Which one? What are you really FOR or AGAINST? Sure it is semantics, but what do we really mean when we make these statements?)
However, as many of you will know, I have been to Israel and hope to return some day. I went with a friend of mine who is Israeli and was welcomed into Israeli homes by wonderful Israeli people. Although this is a different conversation, in general, I do not support the use of violence by any State or any militant. I am writing this, because I feel compelled to. I am angry. I am outraged. I am grieved. I feel compelled to write this to help me process what I just read but also because there are a handful of people who read this who care about the world and its peoples as well. And as an American, I feel compelled to write this given the United States’ role in Israel and Palestine and also the fact that we supply Israel with lots of weapons (click HERE and here and HERE) . In this, we the American people need to recognize our country’s role in this conflict.
That was a pretty emotionally charged introduction, Sam. Who are these people and what happened to them during those 22 days?
There are about 1.5 million Palestinians living in Gaza, which is a piece of land that runs against the Mediterranean Sea. They are blockaded in and not allowed in or out and will be shot no questions asked by the Israeli army if they come within half a mile of the walled border. During those 22 days, 1,400 Palestinians were killed. 300 of them were children. Hundreds of them were unarmed civilians. Thousands more were injured.
How did they die?
Air strikes. Tank shelling. Close-range shootings. White phosphorus. Mortars. Flechettes. Bleeding to death or dying from lack of medical attention or the direct denial of medical attention. As human shields. They were killed or maimed in their homes, in their gardens, on their roofs, in their schools, and even from within a UN compound. Sometimes while they slept.
I think I saw tanks and missiles on TV. But what is white phosphorus? Or flechettes?
A document signed by Colonel Dr. Gil Hirschorn states:
“When the white phosphorus comes in contact with living tissue it causes its damage by ‘eating’ away at it. Characteristics of a phosphorus wound are: chemical burns accompanied by extreme pain, damage to tissue…the phosphorus may seep into the body and damage internal organs.”(Amnesty Report, 2009, p.36)
Flechettes are 3.5 cm-long steel darts. Between 5,000 and 8,000 of these darts are packed into shells which are generally fired from tanks. They explode and scatter. Israel bought these weapons from the USA after the 1973 war and have thousands of these shells in warehouses. They are not regarded as reliable or effective and gunners have a difficult time in aiming this properly.
People were hit with white phosphorous and flechettes?
Yes. Israelis forces air-bursted white phosphorous artillery shells over residential areas of Gaza. Sabah Abu Halima, mother of 10 says that on the afternoon of January 4, 2009, she and her family were at home in the Sayafa area. She told Amnesty,
“Everything caught fire. My husband and four children burned alive in front of my eyes; my baby girl, Shahed, my only girl, melted in my arms. How can a mother have to see her children burn alive? I couldn’t save them. I couldn’t help them. I was on fire. Now I am still burning all over, I am in pain day and night; I am suffering terribly.” (picture included with her wounds in the report.)
Israel denied using white phosphorous for 10 days after the first reported case (which had never been seen before in Gaza. Medical doctors did not know what they were dealing with). Israel maintains that they used the chemicals in accordance with International Law which states that white phosphorous can be used as an obscurant or smokescreen in open areas where combatants are caught under fire in the open. Using white phosphorus in densely populated areas where these conditions are not met is a violation of international law.
Click HERE to see a CNN report one year on at a victim of white phosphorous burns. The doctor in this film has a one-year wait-list for plastic surgery due to these burns.
But Israel was being attacked, weren’t they?
Yes. Palestinian militants fired hundreds of missiles into Southern Israel and killed 13 Israelis at that time and 518 were injured. Given that the Israeli government’s one strand of legitimation (according to the Israeli government and others who believe security is still solely dependent on violence, especially pre-emptive violence…) is the Palestinian terrorism campaign, Palestinian terrorist themselves cannot really claim to be providing protection for their community or really furthering the plight of their community in any way. But I have not ever experienced or witnessed violence in this way, so I can only sympathize with any human marred by violence and recognize that I may be seen to be pronouncing statements from a moral high ground. What is more relevant is the work of those who are looking towards nonviolent solutions to this particular conflict. They are not given press by a violence-hungry media. See “Additional Information” below for several groups who are nonviolently protesting violence and human right’s abuses.
Click HERE for CNN’s look at One Year On in Sderot—Israeli town in Southern Israel. Operation Cast Lead was considered a total success by two individuals in this report.
Where did you get all this information? Is this one-sided propaganda or what?
Read for yourself. There are already numerous links throughout this blog. Below are other resources. Someone very close to me once told me, “you better get your facts straight before you try to make a point.” I took that to heart. This is not hidden information, though it is often not reported as such, particularly in the United States. The Israeli government and army denies the validity of these reports (click HERE for their response to the Amnesty International Report) but it is documented throughout this conflict that Israel has provided false information, changed their story, dropped charges which they claimed as facts, and has been unable to provide counter evidence to any of the internationally recognized legitimate reports from numerous media outlets and by well-established human rights organizations such as Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch. Israeli soldiers involved in Operation Cast Lead have also come forth with information to verify these reports.
What do you want me to do with this information though? It’s sad, but does it really matter to my life?
That is not for me to answer. To tackle the second question first, it could matter to your life and it does whether or not you realize it. As previously state, the United States is Israel’s strongest ally. We sell them lots of weapons. We fund them in lots of other ways. We support them politically, militarily, and economically. Figure out a way to reach out to others on this matter, including with your vote if you so choose (though it is unlikely given the history of the US relation with Israel that either Democrats or Republicans will put significant pressure on Israel to address this in a meaningful way).
For me, a part of my response was this blog, though I am fully aware that this blog will not result in direct material changes in Gaza. I wrestle often with these questions. What do I do? What do we do? I don’t know. But I do know that every time we insist passively that "the world is too big and complex" we are absolving ourselves from the ability to think, act, and dialogue with others.
The world does not need more individuals in pulpits. I’m not convinced we need more well-intentioned do-gooders on crusades to purge themselves of their guilt with well-meaning but misplaced and potentially invasive actions either. However, we could sure use a bit more compassion, moral judgment, and right-living. Shall we explore meaningful dialogue, reflection, justice, and true compassion? In the case of Gaza, can we acknowledge this tragedy and call for recognition from the Israeli government of its actions last January? Can we support an international structure and rule of law for war crimes? Can we call for more to be done about weapons supply? Settlements in the Occupied Territories?
What do you think?
Additional Information available online at:
Amnesty International: Operation Cast Lead Report
UN Report on Emergency Operations in Gaza
Courage to Refuse. Over 500 Israeli Soldiers who refuse to serve in the military. “We shall not continue to fight beyond the 1967 borders in order to dominate, expel, starve and humiliate an entire people. We hereby declare that we shall continue serving in the Israel Defense Forces in any mission that serves Israel’s defense. The missions of occupation and oppression do not serve this purpose – and we shall take no part in them.”)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cMs0nai4JQ: Israeli Soldiers Refusing to Serve in the Military at a protest
Gaza, One Year On. “One year later and 20,000 people are still displaced, living with relatives, or in makeshift shacks. Many of them have almost resigned themselves to living in temporary accommodations permanently... According to a report issued by the UN Conference on Trade and Development, the damage to the civilian infrastructure after the war equals four times the size of the Gaza economy.”
Human Rights Watch Report: Rockets from Gaza
Human Rights Watch Report: Gaza Civilian Deaths
Human Rights Watch: White Flag Deaths in Operation Cast Lead
Rabbis for Human Rights
www.guardian.co.uk/world/gaza (Video about civilian deaths due to Israeli drones)
www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2010/jan/04/gaza-palestinian-territories (situation today)
www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,581231,00.html
www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2009/mar/23/israel-gaza-human-shields (Palestinian Used as a Human Shield)
*Some of this information was also discussed by Robert Fisk in a lecture I attended on various situations in the Middle East that I attended at the University of Ulster in 2009.
Although I was studying in Northern Ireland as a graduate student in Peace and Conflict studies, I largely observed these things. Not because I did not sympathize with the messages or the people, but because I wanted to take the observer standpoint. I was a foreign student living in society undergoing their own peace process. I was an American student in a foreign country at a time that my country was at war in Iraq and Afghanistan and undergoing a historic election. I was trying to listen and learn and think critically about the onslaught of information that I was taking in from the streets, my books, the lecture halls, the workshops and seminars, the news, and the people who were my friends and those I was in close relationship with.
It was a year of wrestling with Big Questions on all fronts. Identity and war. Nationalism. Terrorism. Aid and development. Colonialism and Imperialism. Statebuilding. The environment. Globalization, global governance, global institutions. Peace processes. The role of education. Northern Ireland. The Balkans. Iraq. Cambodia. Rwanda. Congo. Israel and Palestine and of course, Gaza.
Through all of it, I struggled to understand. Struggled to listen. Struggled to reserve judgment and understand the human story in all sides. Struggled to see justice. Sometimes struggled to hope.
The rest of this blog deals with a time towards the end of my year in Derry when I let go of the desire to be an observer and a learner and allowed myself to grieve in my heart and with my body and to let the grief spill over into this blog and its writing. I did not publish it at the time because I was not physically or emotionally able to follow up on the bibliography the way that I wanted to. But one year after the tragedy of Gaza, I return to that moment and offer this up to whoever will read it as a story that needs to be told and heard.
Written in Summer 2009 but edited and updated in parts:
I saw a play tonight called Seven Jewish Children at the Derry Playhouse. The play lasted 10 minutes in which 7 different characters (who you quickly figure out are Jewish) give brief monologues about what to “tell her,” a daughter or granddaughter. The play was powerful and moving. I could explain the play but if you have 10 minutes, it is worth watching one of the versions on YouTube. (I’ve selected this one done in Chicago because of the relatively good sound quality. Each rendition of this play is done differently, which was intentional on the part of the playwright Caryl Churchill who wanted it to be adopted all around the world, which it was.
After the play, a panel sat on stage and conducted a discussion. One woman was with Amnesty International. Two men were actors in the play. One was a medical doctor who recently went on a medical mission to Gaza. The dialogue was powerful and poignant, particularly when parallels were drawn into the context here in Northern Ireland, and even Derry specifically. Reflections on how the oppressed can become oppressors.
But the play is on the back of my mind right now. I just picked up Amnesty International’s report on “Operation Cast Lead,” the Israeli offensive into the Gaza strip for 22 days starting December 27, 2008 and ending January18, 2009. I had to put it down several times. I sat in silence for a few moments after reading through it and I had to write. I only have 56 of the 106 pages of the report. But it is enough…I have to write.
Before I give my own summary of this report in a made-up interview style, I must make several things abundantly clear. First of all, this will be difficult to read. Secondly, this is a human tragedy that cannot be justified regardless of your politics, religion, or beliefs about Israel or Palestine. Thirdly, I am not “against Israel.” To be frank, it’s not even relevant in regards to what happened earlier this year in Gaza, and I refuse to engage in a dialogue that forces me to stand in a FOR or AGAINST corner, as if either of these categories truly exist with justification.
Therefore, whenever I refer to “Israel” in this blog, it is to refer to the leaders within the borders of the nation-state of Israel who are responsible for making the decision to launch this attack on Gaza and those in Israel who support that decision. (And as a matter of critical inquiry, how do we expect to have constructive conversation when we resort to reductionist phrases such as “I am FOR or AGAINST [insert a nation here]?” What does one mean? Are you FOR all of their international policies? Some of them? What about their domestic ones? Are you FOR their military? The existence of their military or supportive of the decisions of the military? Are you FOR all of their people? Some of them? Are you FOR their culture? Which ones? The mainstream? The minority groups? Are you FOR their religion? Which one? What are you really FOR or AGAINST? Sure it is semantics, but what do we really mean when we make these statements?)
However, as many of you will know, I have been to Israel and hope to return some day. I went with a friend of mine who is Israeli and was welcomed into Israeli homes by wonderful Israeli people. Although this is a different conversation, in general, I do not support the use of violence by any State or any militant. I am writing this, because I feel compelled to. I am angry. I am outraged. I am grieved. I feel compelled to write this to help me process what I just read but also because there are a handful of people who read this who care about the world and its peoples as well. And as an American, I feel compelled to write this given the United States’ role in Israel and Palestine and also the fact that we supply Israel with lots of weapons (click HERE and here and HERE) . In this, we the American people need to recognize our country’s role in this conflict.
That was a pretty emotionally charged introduction, Sam. Who are these people and what happened to them during those 22 days?
There are about 1.5 million Palestinians living in Gaza, which is a piece of land that runs against the Mediterranean Sea. They are blockaded in and not allowed in or out and will be shot no questions asked by the Israeli army if they come within half a mile of the walled border. During those 22 days, 1,400 Palestinians were killed. 300 of them were children. Hundreds of them were unarmed civilians. Thousands more were injured.
How did they die?
Air strikes. Tank shelling. Close-range shootings. White phosphorus. Mortars. Flechettes. Bleeding to death or dying from lack of medical attention or the direct denial of medical attention. As human shields. They were killed or maimed in their homes, in their gardens, on their roofs, in their schools, and even from within a UN compound. Sometimes while they slept.
I think I saw tanks and missiles on TV. But what is white phosphorus? Or flechettes?
A document signed by Colonel Dr. Gil Hirschorn states:
“When the white phosphorus comes in contact with living tissue it causes its damage by ‘eating’ away at it. Characteristics of a phosphorus wound are: chemical burns accompanied by extreme pain, damage to tissue…the phosphorus may seep into the body and damage internal organs.”(Amnesty Report, 2009, p.36)
Flechettes are 3.5 cm-long steel darts. Between 5,000 and 8,000 of these darts are packed into shells which are generally fired from tanks. They explode and scatter. Israel bought these weapons from the USA after the 1973 war and have thousands of these shells in warehouses. They are not regarded as reliable or effective and gunners have a difficult time in aiming this properly.
People were hit with white phosphorous and flechettes?
Yes. Israelis forces air-bursted white phosphorous artillery shells over residential areas of Gaza. Sabah Abu Halima, mother of 10 says that on the afternoon of January 4, 2009, she and her family were at home in the Sayafa area. She told Amnesty,
“Everything caught fire. My husband and four children burned alive in front of my eyes; my baby girl, Shahed, my only girl, melted in my arms. How can a mother have to see her children burn alive? I couldn’t save them. I couldn’t help them. I was on fire. Now I am still burning all over, I am in pain day and night; I am suffering terribly.” (picture included with her wounds in the report.)
Israel denied using white phosphorous for 10 days after the first reported case (which had never been seen before in Gaza. Medical doctors did not know what they were dealing with). Israel maintains that they used the chemicals in accordance with International Law which states that white phosphorous can be used as an obscurant or smokescreen in open areas where combatants are caught under fire in the open. Using white phosphorus in densely populated areas where these conditions are not met is a violation of international law.
Click HERE to see a CNN report one year on at a victim of white phosphorous burns. The doctor in this film has a one-year wait-list for plastic surgery due to these burns.
But Israel was being attacked, weren’t they?
Yes. Palestinian militants fired hundreds of missiles into Southern Israel and killed 13 Israelis at that time and 518 were injured. Given that the Israeli government’s one strand of legitimation (according to the Israeli government and others who believe security is still solely dependent on violence, especially pre-emptive violence…) is the Palestinian terrorism campaign, Palestinian terrorist themselves cannot really claim to be providing protection for their community or really furthering the plight of their community in any way. But I have not ever experienced or witnessed violence in this way, so I can only sympathize with any human marred by violence and recognize that I may be seen to be pronouncing statements from a moral high ground. What is more relevant is the work of those who are looking towards nonviolent solutions to this particular conflict. They are not given press by a violence-hungry media. See “Additional Information” below for several groups who are nonviolently protesting violence and human right’s abuses.
Click HERE for CNN’s look at One Year On in Sderot—Israeli town in Southern Israel. Operation Cast Lead was considered a total success by two individuals in this report.
Where did you get all this information? Is this one-sided propaganda or what?
Read for yourself. There are already numerous links throughout this blog. Below are other resources. Someone very close to me once told me, “you better get your facts straight before you try to make a point.” I took that to heart. This is not hidden information, though it is often not reported as such, particularly in the United States. The Israeli government and army denies the validity of these reports (click HERE for their response to the Amnesty International Report) but it is documented throughout this conflict that Israel has provided false information, changed their story, dropped charges which they claimed as facts, and has been unable to provide counter evidence to any of the internationally recognized legitimate reports from numerous media outlets and by well-established human rights organizations such as Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch. Israeli soldiers involved in Operation Cast Lead have also come forth with information to verify these reports.
What do you want me to do with this information though? It’s sad, but does it really matter to my life?
That is not for me to answer. To tackle the second question first, it could matter to your life and it does whether or not you realize it. As previously state, the United States is Israel’s strongest ally. We sell them lots of weapons. We fund them in lots of other ways. We support them politically, militarily, and economically. Figure out a way to reach out to others on this matter, including with your vote if you so choose (though it is unlikely given the history of the US relation with Israel that either Democrats or Republicans will put significant pressure on Israel to address this in a meaningful way).
For me, a part of my response was this blog, though I am fully aware that this blog will not result in direct material changes in Gaza. I wrestle often with these questions. What do I do? What do we do? I don’t know. But I do know that every time we insist passively that "the world is too big and complex" we are absolving ourselves from the ability to think, act, and dialogue with others.
The world does not need more individuals in pulpits. I’m not convinced we need more well-intentioned do-gooders on crusades to purge themselves of their guilt with well-meaning but misplaced and potentially invasive actions either. However, we could sure use a bit more compassion, moral judgment, and right-living. Shall we explore meaningful dialogue, reflection, justice, and true compassion? In the case of Gaza, can we acknowledge this tragedy and call for recognition from the Israeli government of its actions last January? Can we support an international structure and rule of law for war crimes? Can we call for more to be done about weapons supply? Settlements in the Occupied Territories?
What do you think?
Additional Information available online at:
Amnesty International: Operation Cast Lead Report
UN Report on Emergency Operations in Gaza
Courage to Refuse. Over 500 Israeli Soldiers who refuse to serve in the military. “We shall not continue to fight beyond the 1967 borders in order to dominate, expel, starve and humiliate an entire people. We hereby declare that we shall continue serving in the Israel Defense Forces in any mission that serves Israel’s defense. The missions of occupation and oppression do not serve this purpose – and we shall take no part in them.”)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cMs0nai4JQ: Israeli Soldiers Refusing to Serve in the Military at a protest
Gaza, One Year On. “One year later and 20,000 people are still displaced, living with relatives, or in makeshift shacks. Many of them have almost resigned themselves to living in temporary accommodations permanently... According to a report issued by the UN Conference on Trade and Development, the damage to the civilian infrastructure after the war equals four times the size of the Gaza economy.”
Human Rights Watch Report: Rockets from Gaza
Human Rights Watch Report: Gaza Civilian Deaths
Human Rights Watch: White Flag Deaths in Operation Cast Lead
Rabbis for Human Rights
www.guardian.co.uk/world/gaza (Video about civilian deaths due to Israeli drones)
www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2010/jan/04/gaza-palestinian-territories (situation today)
www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,581231,00.html
www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2009/mar/23/israel-gaza-human-shields (Palestinian Used as a Human Shield)
*Some of this information was also discussed by Robert Fisk in a lecture I attended on various situations in the Middle East that I attended at the University of Ulster in 2009.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Cultural Invasion
In cultural invasion, the actors draw the thematic content of their action from their own values and ideology; their starting point is their own world, from which they enter the world of those they invade. In cultural synthesis, the actors who come from "another world" to the world of the people do so not as invaders. They do not come to teach or to transmit or to give anything, but rather to learn, with the people, about the people's world.
~ Paulo Friere, Pedagogy of the Oppressed
Let us acknowledge first that we do, in fact, come from different worlds. (We includes all of us, though it can be defined differently depending on the situation.) By what authority do we think we have the right or even the ability to enter into a "world" that we do not come from, and therefore cannot immediately identify with, and bestow answers upon people we have failed to listen to?
Might we not enter first into the lived experiences of others before writing a prescription? Better yet, are we willing to let those we wish to "help" do the prescribing?
~ Paulo Friere, Pedagogy of the Oppressed
Let us acknowledge first that we do, in fact, come from different worlds. (We includes all of us, though it can be defined differently depending on the situation.) By what authority do we think we have the right or even the ability to enter into a "world" that we do not come from, and therefore cannot immediately identify with, and bestow answers upon people we have failed to listen to?
Might we not enter first into the lived experiences of others before writing a prescription? Better yet, are we willing to let those we wish to "help" do the prescribing?
Monday, November 9, 2009
The Little Things...
Sometimes it's the little things that will send me into a fit of laughter. Like today, for example, when I was reading through one of my student's applications that read something like, "I am very excited about studying in Whales, England." I'm confident that if my Jonah student doesn't sort it out before she goes, a kind Welsh person will inform her that Wales is neither a tribute to a giant sea mammal nor in England. But she was close, I suppose, on both counts.
Sometimes the little things make me want to kick a cat. Like yesterday when I not only put a giant dent in the car I bought a week ago by trying to avoid hitting a baby carriage, but missed crossing the Hudson River Rail Bridge for the first time by 10 minutes. It's a little thing though.
On occasion, the little coincidences that pepper my day or week seem to create arrows pointing to who knows where, but they're still pointing. Like this past Saturday when I was doing a bit of gardening and came across an old metal toy airplane. Glenn said he dug it up last year and it must be from the 1950's. It made me think of my dad. I turned it over in my hand and inspected it. It was well made, not like the plastic riff raff filling up our houses and landfills now a days. Then I noticed the print on the side, "Made in the USA. Lancaster, PA." Huh. What a funny little coincidence.
Here's to musing on the little things... and what of you?
Sometimes the little things make me want to kick a cat. Like yesterday when I not only put a giant dent in the car I bought a week ago by trying to avoid hitting a baby carriage, but missed crossing the Hudson River Rail Bridge for the first time by 10 minutes. It's a little thing though.
On occasion, the little coincidences that pepper my day or week seem to create arrows pointing to who knows where, but they're still pointing. Like this past Saturday when I was doing a bit of gardening and came across an old metal toy airplane. Glenn said he dug it up last year and it must be from the 1950's. It made me think of my dad. I turned it over in my hand and inspected it. It was well made, not like the plastic riff raff filling up our houses and landfills now a days. Then I noticed the print on the side, "Made in the USA. Lancaster, PA." Huh. What a funny little coincidence.
Here's to musing on the little things... and what of you?
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Moral Choice of Acceptance of Complexity
In the last few years and particularly in the past year, I've become concerned about a lot of things I didn't know much about before. Things I don't know much about now but enough to be concerned. Things like war and the way we talk about war, think about war, perpetuate war, protest war. Things like poverty and the way hunger and starvation feel far away and for a dollar or donation we can at least forget about it for a while. Things like consumerism and how we are told our purpose in life is to consume, whether goods, ideas, experiences, or even our relationships. But this next one has been rolling around and reeling in my head as well--the misuse and overuse of our earth's resources and environment. The amazing thing is that these are all linked. War, poverty, consumerism, and environmental collapse.
Nobody likes to think about these things too much, including me. What a downer. What a depressing mess. What an overwhelming conglomeration of facts and figures that I feel as an individual can do little about. I'm not really going to even start in on those facts and figures and whether or not this whole thing is apocalyptic or "cyclical". For one thing, it is irrelevant. For another, anyone who digs a fingernail's depth into the existing information out there (and probably those who can conjure up their own powers of observation) will be able to deduce that we are not living in the most equitable, sustainable, and healthy way that we are capable of. We're not even trying very hard, most of us, or thinking much about how we could do better.
Instead, we are still saying things like "the economy would be better if the consumer would trust the market again" and "China and India aren't going to cut down their carbon emissions, so why should we?" Is this really our best? Is this even aiming at better?
I just attended a 350 event. Please refer to www.350.org to understand what that number means and why people all over the world attended events and organized today, October 24. It was a simple affair in a small town on a rainy night somewhere in the mountains of New York. It involved watching yet another compelling, depressing, state-of-the-Earth film (I seem to be watching lots of those lately...). I'm glad I went and I like the fact that people care sometimes. And that ultimately, millions do around the world. Even still, I had to drive a car to get there and I'm aware of the fact that as a Study Abroad Advisor I encourage students on a daily basis to fly on an airplane to some other place in the world. Flying on airplanes is about the worst thing a person can do when it comes to leaving a carbon footprint. But then again, people left with their own unchallenged worldview, particularly from powerful and influential nations like the United States, tend to carry on with the "business as usual" model and end up supporting (knowingly or unknowingly) oppressive structures or practices--like war, poverty, environmental degradation amongst others. But when they get outside of that, often times it is a powerful enough experience to challenge their thinking and affect transformation of their actions... So which is worse? Carbon footprints or missing out on the opportunity for a deeply meaningful cross-cultural experience?
I do not stand outside of my own judgment on these issues. I stand within a multiplicity of moral paradoxes.
I'm not sure more judgment is what the world needs either. Perhaps a bit more concern and awareness would be helpful, and certainly creativity and collaboration would accomplish more than the current modus operendi of so many of us. I like when Roland Robertson states that he is arguing for the "moral acceptance of complexity" in his book on globalization (1992). Why is that a moral choice? Because complexity suggests valid differences of perspectives, often clashing perspectives. No one person or group can fully know or understood the whole of any matter. Neither you nor I have the corner on all truth. This means we need each other.
Square One: Acceptance of complexity. These problems are way over my head and they are way over yours. But we need to strive to acknowledge what we face and work with one another to act in such a way socially, politically, economically , mentally, and spiritually so that we seek to "do no harm," acknowlege when we do, and then to do so much more in a positive direction. I do not feel a sense of ease or safety about the way that we are living on this planet. I do not have the Get Out of Jail Free card. But I do have a sense of hope in the possibilities of doing better with others for the sake of other human beings and the earth that we share.
P.S. If you are interested in facts and figures on the environment, let me know and I'd be happy to point you in the direction of several hundred resources.
Nobody likes to think about these things too much, including me. What a downer. What a depressing mess. What an overwhelming conglomeration of facts and figures that I feel as an individual can do little about. I'm not really going to even start in on those facts and figures and whether or not this whole thing is apocalyptic or "cyclical". For one thing, it is irrelevant. For another, anyone who digs a fingernail's depth into the existing information out there (and probably those who can conjure up their own powers of observation) will be able to deduce that we are not living in the most equitable, sustainable, and healthy way that we are capable of. We're not even trying very hard, most of us, or thinking much about how we could do better.
Instead, we are still saying things like "the economy would be better if the consumer would trust the market again" and "China and India aren't going to cut down their carbon emissions, so why should we?" Is this really our best? Is this even aiming at better?
I just attended a 350 event. Please refer to www.350.org to understand what that number means and why people all over the world attended events and organized today, October 24. It was a simple affair in a small town on a rainy night somewhere in the mountains of New York. It involved watching yet another compelling, depressing, state-of-the-Earth film (I seem to be watching lots of those lately...). I'm glad I went and I like the fact that people care sometimes. And that ultimately, millions do around the world. Even still, I had to drive a car to get there and I'm aware of the fact that as a Study Abroad Advisor I encourage students on a daily basis to fly on an airplane to some other place in the world. Flying on airplanes is about the worst thing a person can do when it comes to leaving a carbon footprint. But then again, people left with their own unchallenged worldview, particularly from powerful and influential nations like the United States, tend to carry on with the "business as usual" model and end up supporting (knowingly or unknowingly) oppressive structures or practices--like war, poverty, environmental degradation amongst others. But when they get outside of that, often times it is a powerful enough experience to challenge their thinking and affect transformation of their actions... So which is worse? Carbon footprints or missing out on the opportunity for a deeply meaningful cross-cultural experience?
I do not stand outside of my own judgment on these issues. I stand within a multiplicity of moral paradoxes.
I'm not sure more judgment is what the world needs either. Perhaps a bit more concern and awareness would be helpful, and certainly creativity and collaboration would accomplish more than the current modus operendi of so many of us. I like when Roland Robertson states that he is arguing for the "moral acceptance of complexity" in his book on globalization (1992). Why is that a moral choice? Because complexity suggests valid differences of perspectives, often clashing perspectives. No one person or group can fully know or understood the whole of any matter. Neither you nor I have the corner on all truth. This means we need each other.
Square One: Acceptance of complexity. These problems are way over my head and they are way over yours. But we need to strive to acknowledge what we face and work with one another to act in such a way socially, politically, economically , mentally, and spiritually so that we seek to "do no harm," acknowlege when we do, and then to do so much more in a positive direction. I do not feel a sense of ease or safety about the way that we are living on this planet. I do not have the Get Out of Jail Free card. But I do have a sense of hope in the possibilities of doing better with others for the sake of other human beings and the earth that we share.
P.S. If you are interested in facts and figures on the environment, let me know and I'd be happy to point you in the direction of several hundred resources.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
The Return
I have been doing some research for an upcoming job interview in the study abroad field. One of my potential employers has a fantastic resource on all things related to cultures and study abroad. As I am reading, I am realizing that I am still very much going through what in the field we call "reverse culture shock". This basically describes the re-entry process and the challenges and joys that happen for most if not all people when they return from living and traveling overseas.
Typically, the reverse culture shock process is longer than the cultural adjustment phase that a person goes through when they go to a new country. There are a lot of reasons for this. I knew all of this before I came home. Don't we all like to think we are special and somehow above or beyond what "normal" people go through?
I think I have fallen prey to this sneaky little hope. That somehow I could maybe...well, not totally avoid this whole messy deal of smashing these radically different experiences together into a coherent and synthesized whole, but that maybe just...I could shorten it, or skim it, or shirk it, or control how I experience it, somehow.
I have an announcement to make though. I am just like everyone else. I am still experiencing both visible and invisible manifestations of this process. Did I mention I'm not very patient? That means that not only is there a small part of me that is annoyed that people who know about this whole deal and tell students about it as a part of their job aren't somehow immune to experiencing it themselves but that I am doubly irritated when I'm not sure how long this process will take!
There is a sweetness too when I give myself over to accepting that I am going to feel the way I feel for a while. Maybe a long time. And then, I can embrace this whole re-entry process and learn from it. The overseas experience is not complete without it. Perhaps if I am fortunate enough to get a job in study abroad in the near future, I will also be a better advisor because I remember what it was like. What it is like. I will know how they feel. I will be able to relate to them in a way I would not have been able to otherwise.
It is always exciting and interesting and fun to talk about and remember going abroad and adjusting to a new culture and country. People will ask what that was like. But what the photo album doesn't show and the part that is hard to talk about to friends and family is the part when you come home and have to sift and sort everything into something that makes sense in light of your past, your present, and ultimately your future. It is the Return and it too is a journey.
Typically, the reverse culture shock process is longer than the cultural adjustment phase that a person goes through when they go to a new country. There are a lot of reasons for this. I knew all of this before I came home. Don't we all like to think we are special and somehow above or beyond what "normal" people go through?
I think I have fallen prey to this sneaky little hope. That somehow I could maybe...well, not totally avoid this whole messy deal of smashing these radically different experiences together into a coherent and synthesized whole, but that maybe just...I could shorten it, or skim it, or shirk it, or control how I experience it, somehow.
I have an announcement to make though. I am just like everyone else. I am still experiencing both visible and invisible manifestations of this process. Did I mention I'm not very patient? That means that not only is there a small part of me that is annoyed that people who know about this whole deal and tell students about it as a part of their job aren't somehow immune to experiencing it themselves but that I am doubly irritated when I'm not sure how long this process will take!
There is a sweetness too when I give myself over to accepting that I am going to feel the way I feel for a while. Maybe a long time. And then, I can embrace this whole re-entry process and learn from it. The overseas experience is not complete without it. Perhaps if I am fortunate enough to get a job in study abroad in the near future, I will also be a better advisor because I remember what it was like. What it is like. I will know how they feel. I will be able to relate to them in a way I would not have been able to otherwise.
It is always exciting and interesting and fun to talk about and remember going abroad and adjusting to a new culture and country. People will ask what that was like. But what the photo album doesn't show and the part that is hard to talk about to friends and family is the part when you come home and have to sift and sort everything into something that makes sense in light of your past, your present, and ultimately your future. It is the Return and it too is a journey.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Falling Whistles
In Venice Beach California, there is a little garage behind a house with cars, surf boards, and bicycles. This little garage also contains an office where people are campaigning for peace in Congo and igniting dreams of change in this war-torn African country and also in our American society. Welcome to Falling Whistles.
Falling Whistles started with an individual on a journey who encountered the realities of the "world's largest war." The story is best told by its author at www.FallingWhistles.com but the origin of the name comes from the front lines in the Congo. Child soldiers who are too small to carry guns are given whistles and sent to the front lines of battle. The founders of Falling Whistles are hoping to turn their weapon of war into a symbol of protest and peace in the United States.
The Congo feels far away. It doesn't seem possible that over 5 million people have died in this conflict in the last decade. I cannot absorb that number and I'm not sure I want to. It is tempting to put this and many other facts into the part of my brain that tries to cope with the fact that Darfur, Gaza, Afghanistan, Iraq, and Burma still exist they way they do.
The truth of the matter is that a part of the Congo is in the computer that I am typing this on. It's in my cellphone. It's probably in yours.
Congo is one of the most resource rich countries in the world. In addition to having the capability to feed the world's population until 2050, it is rich in minerals. Gold, copper, tin, coltan. This last one is the one that ends up in the small electronic devices we buy, such as our cell phones, iPods, digital cameras, and laptops because it is able to generate a powerful electric charge. Illegal exportation of these minerals is funding the conflict in Congo.
What does this all mean? Easy answers are not available but people who can start thinking about these issues are. If we pay attention, we may discover new ways (however big or small) to use our privilege, power, mobility, and money to enact change. Holocaust survivor and peace advocate Elie Wiesel challenges us to do everything within our domain to stop oppression and injustice. this means in your backyard. Your backyard may be bigger than you realize.
The founder of Falling Whistles said something this past week that made me think about things in a different way. He basically commented that while the human death toll is horrible, the real tragedy lies in the loss of human potential and creativity. We will never know how our world would be different had 5.4 million Congolese people had the opportunity to reach their human potential.
What could have been...In a world where my cell phone contains a piece of the Congo. My liberation as a human is bound up with another.
The place to go from here is to start where you are. Visit Falling Whistles and read the story, learn more about the situation and how you can become more involved. In the future, you may be able to support a bill in Congress that would push for more accountability in conflict mines in Congo. You can start to think about how your life choices affects the human in the room next to you, or the house next to you, or the state next to you,or the country next to you.
You can buy a whistle and wear it as a symbol of protest against the atrocities in Congo. If you buy the whistle off of the website 100% of the proceeds go to an organization in Congo that is working to rehabilitate war-torn children.
You can tell the story of the Congo to others.
The world is changed by those who speak out. Whistleblowers. Rarely understood in their time, history looks back and calls them courageous. (Falling Whistles)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Lake Murray-Irmo Rotary Club Final Presentation
Rotary Presentation to Lake-Murray Irmo Rotary Club, August 19th, 2009
*I had a slideshow with pictures showing the individuals I spoke about.
Good morning. I have thought about this time with you all for many months now and I’m thinking about how much has happened since the last time I saw you and I’m already sensing the impossibility of conveying to you what 10 months in Ireland as an Ambassadorial Scholar has meant to me. Since it is an impossible task, I will simply say thank you with the greatest sincerity.
I want to thank Rod Funderburk particularly for his continued support since fall 2006 and to this day. As a small gesture of gratitude I have framed a photo that I took at the church where William Butler Yeat’s was buried just outside a town called Sligo in Ireland. Rod, for all of the time you have spent helping me prepare for interviews before the committee, for sharing helpful hints before going to Ireland, for reading my blog and asking how things are going by email, and for helping me reconnect with you all, the Lake Murray-Irmo Rotary club, my sponsor club, I thank you.
Today I am going to tell you stories rather than give a presentation. Ireland has a rich history in both written and oral storytelling, and so it seems appropriate for me to share about this year and Ireland through telling you about the people who have impacted me the most and through the stories that will be with me for the rest of my life. The most important part of the Rotary Ambassadorial scholarship is the relationships that build trust, understanding, and friendship between people. I want to tell you about a few of these relationships and also the experiences I have had. I will show a brief slideshow at the end, and take some questions if you have them.
I want to start by telling you about a couple that I met in my hometown of Lititz, PA just before I left for Northern Ireland. I was working at a café and John and Eleanor Smyth came through the door and asked for a cup of tea. I noticed their accent and asked where they were from. No only were they from the same county in Northern Ireland that I was about to move to, but John was the treasurer of the Cookstown Rotary Club. You can imagine that we had a conversation at some length at that point. Before I had even left the United States, I was already invited to come speak at their Rotary club and invited to their home. I did visit their Rotary club at Christmastime and I also attended their annual Fundraiser Rotary Ball where I met their daughter who is my age. When I stayed with them for a weekend it turns out, that John and Eleanor are very fascinated with my hometown, Lancaster County PA. It was strange but neat to see little things from ‘home’ in their house and to talk about Lancaster as all three of us were locals. They picked me up the night before I flew home from Belfast and they took me out to dinner and then dropped me off as a family at the airport and waited with me before boarding my flight. They plan on visiting Lancaster in the near future and I am hoping that myself and my parents can welcome them as they had welcomed me.
This is John and Anne MacCrossan. John was my Rotary host counselor. He and his wife Anne gave me a lovely welcome when I arrived and since John is the Assistant District Governor and lives in Derry where I lived, I was lucky enough to drive with him many times to visit different Rotary clubs. John seems to know every rock, tree, hill and church in Ireland and he would tell me the stories of so-and-so’s farm or who got married in that church and what the name of that town means in Irish. John and Anne also shared about their life experiences from the Troubles with me, which they said they hadn’t really started talking about until a few years back. One of the many he told me was about a day in his life during the Troubles as a bank manager. One day he watched as a man came out from the pub across the street and left a parcel lean against the bank wall. He came in and said, “I found this in the pub across the street. It’s a bomb. I put it outside but you might want to tell your people.” John notified the police and he said they watched as the British army shot the bomb into a harmless oblivion the rest of the afternoon. He laughed as he recounted, “It seems to me that the man in the pub made it pretty clear where his priorities lie.” Some of the stories did not end so well. But John and Anne helped me understand more about life in Northern Ireland, the good and the bad, and showed me Irish hospitality.
These are my classmates. There were about 16 of us and I really appreciated how our diversity enriched our classroom discussions and weekly interactions. About half were Irish (Protestants, Catholics, North and South, younger and more experienced), there were 5 of us from the United States, and one person from Japan, Colombia, Sri Lanka, Ghana, and Canada. We got to meet John Hume, the Nobel Peace Prize Leaureate for his work with David Trimble in bringing their two political parties to the table to sign the 1998 Good Friday peace agreement in Belfast. I’d run into John Hume sometimes in town. He has Alzheimer’s disease but is still active in the community, which I find very inspiring.
This is Heather. She was in Oakland, CA as a counselor for 10 years before joining the program at Magee. She was a Rotary Scholar in Argentina 10 years ago. When I first met her, I didn’t anticipate that we would become great friends because our personalities were so different but in the end, we not only became classmates, but we were also roommates and eventually coworkers! I can now call her my sister and she has inspired me to think in new ways about social justice, education, young people, and oppression. We frequently had long chats while walking along the River Foyle, that runs through the center of Derry City. We enjoyed the ‘craic’, which means “the fun” or “what’s good”, in Ireland.
This is Adriana. She is from Colombia and was also in the Peace and Conflict Resolution program. She has a 9 year old daughter named Isa. We shared similar tastes in music and the love of philosophies and theories. She became an invaluable friend and I appreciated how she just embraced Northern Ireland as her own and enjoys life.
This is Nora and her partner Tim of 30 years. Nora just celebrated her 64th birthday before I left. She was also in my program but this is us in her home in Donegal across the border. I view Nora as an elder and a personal mentor as well as a friend. One of her lifelong passions is critical feminism. Growing up, feminism was the other “F” word, so I wrestled with a long time about what she was trying to say to us as her classmates, to me as her friend, and to the world in general. When I concluded that she is interested in recognizing the strengths of all people, from within their gender as well as without, and empowering those people to understand and utilize their strengths in more equal and just societies that recognize difference as strength, I decided that I may just be a feminist of sorts as well.
I made many other valuable friendships in my class, but these I wanted to mention specifically.
This is Kevin. He is from Derry, born and raised. I didn’t intend on finding a relationship while overseas, though everyone else seemed convinced I would. We dated for a the better part of my time in Ireland. I have to say that I think I’ve learned more about peace and conflict resolution from being in a cross-cultural relationship than I have in any class—which to me actually speaks to the power of human relationships. Kevin is 28 years old and an Irish Republican Nationalist, also a part of what is commonly referred to as the Catholic community in Northern Ireland. I spent many evenings with him and his family over a cup of tea by the wood stove talking about any and everything. I learned a lot from him and his family and cherished their company. I was also privileged to hear their own personal experiences during the Troubles of what it was like to be a Catholic during that time, stories that would break your heart or make you laugh or both. Sometimes Kevin and I would argue about the politics of Northern Ireland. You see, I was studying it full time in class, in books, in seminars and through personal observation about the city that I lived in that remains very divided to this day. But he would remind me, Sam, this is my history and this is my life. It is not as simple as your books make it. And he was right and I needed to be reminded of that. Life is not that simple. But we challenged each other and learned from each other and had lots of good times too, the highlight of which was camping down the West Coast of Ireland in May. It’s a trip I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
This is Dr. Jim Skelly. I met him at a conference in DC before I left for Ireland. He is a visiting Peace professor at Ulster, Magee, my university in Derry. He is also the Resident Director of a study abroad program based in PA near my hometown. Jim is my academic mentor and he will be one of my graders for my masters thesis due next month. But he has also become a personal mentor to me. We have shared many dinners and conversations about life and the work which we are both passionate about, namely, international education and peace and justice, which is the topic of my dissertation.
I traveled a bit while abroad. These are 2 other Rotary Ambassadorial Scholars with whom I spent a weekend in Nice, France with. I also visited a friend from Carolina who is in the Peace Corps in Morocco right now. As it turns out, I don’t speak Tashelheet but thankfully she does and because of that we were together able to spend time with the Moroccans and have dinner or conversations with the locals from Larba Sahel, Agadir, Marrakech, and Tiznit and they welcomed me as with warmth and hospitality as they have welcomed Hanneke. I also made it to Scotland and spent a week in London for spring break, where I trained part of the time for my summer job in Belfast.
Heather and I, through interesting circumstances, ended up working for People to People International this past summer in Belfast. People to People is a US based organizations that sends US students on study travel tours around the world. The purpose of their programs is similar to the Ambassadorial scholarship—peace through mutual understanding. This was the first summer ever that US delegations would be visiting Northern Ireland. Heather and I developed a pilot project called the Road to Peace, which I found a bit corny in name though the title wasn’t our choice. Nonetheless, we spoke with over 700 students this past summer and designed a 90 minute seminar to talk about identity, conflict, the Troubles, peace and the peace process in Northern Ireland. We had them read quotes from young people from NI and we also talked about how the issues discussed were every bit as important in the US context. We had two local speakers come in and share their story about what it was like growing up in Northern Ireland. One speaker was from a Catholic background and one from a Protestant background. They also doubled as my friends, housemates, or classmates back in Derry! The seminar was a success and I learned so much from the way that the students engaged in the issues, asked questions, and reflected with enthusiasm on their own experience on their program.
Now I am back in PA with my family. I am finishing my master’s degree, looking for jobs in international education, and keeping my eyes open for whatever is next. I recognize that so many people have poured into my life, particularly this past year, and I am hoping that I have given back and will continue to find opportunities to give back in the spirit of service that Rotary promotes.
There are so many other things I could say, but I will leave it at that and say thank you once again. It has been a growing year for me and one that I will be especially grateful for the rest of my life. Please continue to support the Rotary Foundation and Ambassadorial scholars because there is no substitute for face-to-face encounters, building relationships, and service to others. Here is a brief slideshow of pictures from my year, and if we have time, I will take questions if you have them.
*I had a slideshow with pictures showing the individuals I spoke about.
Good morning. I have thought about this time with you all for many months now and I’m thinking about how much has happened since the last time I saw you and I’m already sensing the impossibility of conveying to you what 10 months in Ireland as an Ambassadorial Scholar has meant to me. Since it is an impossible task, I will simply say thank you with the greatest sincerity.
I want to thank Rod Funderburk particularly for his continued support since fall 2006 and to this day. As a small gesture of gratitude I have framed a photo that I took at the church where William Butler Yeat’s was buried just outside a town called Sligo in Ireland. Rod, for all of the time you have spent helping me prepare for interviews before the committee, for sharing helpful hints before going to Ireland, for reading my blog and asking how things are going by email, and for helping me reconnect with you all, the Lake Murray-Irmo Rotary club, my sponsor club, I thank you.
Today I am going to tell you stories rather than give a presentation. Ireland has a rich history in both written and oral storytelling, and so it seems appropriate for me to share about this year and Ireland through telling you about the people who have impacted me the most and through the stories that will be with me for the rest of my life. The most important part of the Rotary Ambassadorial scholarship is the relationships that build trust, understanding, and friendship between people. I want to tell you about a few of these relationships and also the experiences I have had. I will show a brief slideshow at the end, and take some questions if you have them.
I want to start by telling you about a couple that I met in my hometown of Lititz, PA just before I left for Northern Ireland. I was working at a café and John and Eleanor Smyth came through the door and asked for a cup of tea. I noticed their accent and asked where they were from. No only were they from the same county in Northern Ireland that I was about to move to, but John was the treasurer of the Cookstown Rotary Club. You can imagine that we had a conversation at some length at that point. Before I had even left the United States, I was already invited to come speak at their Rotary club and invited to their home. I did visit their Rotary club at Christmastime and I also attended their annual Fundraiser Rotary Ball where I met their daughter who is my age. When I stayed with them for a weekend it turns out, that John and Eleanor are very fascinated with my hometown, Lancaster County PA. It was strange but neat to see little things from ‘home’ in their house and to talk about Lancaster as all three of us were locals. They picked me up the night before I flew home from Belfast and they took me out to dinner and then dropped me off as a family at the airport and waited with me before boarding my flight. They plan on visiting Lancaster in the near future and I am hoping that myself and my parents can welcome them as they had welcomed me.
This is John and Anne MacCrossan. John was my Rotary host counselor. He and his wife Anne gave me a lovely welcome when I arrived and since John is the Assistant District Governor and lives in Derry where I lived, I was lucky enough to drive with him many times to visit different Rotary clubs. John seems to know every rock, tree, hill and church in Ireland and he would tell me the stories of so-and-so’s farm or who got married in that church and what the name of that town means in Irish. John and Anne also shared about their life experiences from the Troubles with me, which they said they hadn’t really started talking about until a few years back. One of the many he told me was about a day in his life during the Troubles as a bank manager. One day he watched as a man came out from the pub across the street and left a parcel lean against the bank wall. He came in and said, “I found this in the pub across the street. It’s a bomb. I put it outside but you might want to tell your people.” John notified the police and he said they watched as the British army shot the bomb into a harmless oblivion the rest of the afternoon. He laughed as he recounted, “It seems to me that the man in the pub made it pretty clear where his priorities lie.” Some of the stories did not end so well. But John and Anne helped me understand more about life in Northern Ireland, the good and the bad, and showed me Irish hospitality.
These are my classmates. There were about 16 of us and I really appreciated how our diversity enriched our classroom discussions and weekly interactions. About half were Irish (Protestants, Catholics, North and South, younger and more experienced), there were 5 of us from the United States, and one person from Japan, Colombia, Sri Lanka, Ghana, and Canada. We got to meet John Hume, the Nobel Peace Prize Leaureate for his work with David Trimble in bringing their two political parties to the table to sign the 1998 Good Friday peace agreement in Belfast. I’d run into John Hume sometimes in town. He has Alzheimer’s disease but is still active in the community, which I find very inspiring.
This is Heather. She was in Oakland, CA as a counselor for 10 years before joining the program at Magee. She was a Rotary Scholar in Argentina 10 years ago. When I first met her, I didn’t anticipate that we would become great friends because our personalities were so different but in the end, we not only became classmates, but we were also roommates and eventually coworkers! I can now call her my sister and she has inspired me to think in new ways about social justice, education, young people, and oppression. We frequently had long chats while walking along the River Foyle, that runs through the center of Derry City. We enjoyed the ‘craic’, which means “the fun” or “what’s good”, in Ireland.
This is Adriana. She is from Colombia and was also in the Peace and Conflict Resolution program. She has a 9 year old daughter named Isa. We shared similar tastes in music and the love of philosophies and theories. She became an invaluable friend and I appreciated how she just embraced Northern Ireland as her own and enjoys life.
This is Nora and her partner Tim of 30 years. Nora just celebrated her 64th birthday before I left. She was also in my program but this is us in her home in Donegal across the border. I view Nora as an elder and a personal mentor as well as a friend. One of her lifelong passions is critical feminism. Growing up, feminism was the other “F” word, so I wrestled with a long time about what she was trying to say to us as her classmates, to me as her friend, and to the world in general. When I concluded that she is interested in recognizing the strengths of all people, from within their gender as well as without, and empowering those people to understand and utilize their strengths in more equal and just societies that recognize difference as strength, I decided that I may just be a feminist of sorts as well.
I made many other valuable friendships in my class, but these I wanted to mention specifically.
This is Kevin. He is from Derry, born and raised. I didn’t intend on finding a relationship while overseas, though everyone else seemed convinced I would. We dated for a the better part of my time in Ireland. I have to say that I think I’ve learned more about peace and conflict resolution from being in a cross-cultural relationship than I have in any class—which to me actually speaks to the power of human relationships. Kevin is 28 years old and an Irish Republican Nationalist, also a part of what is commonly referred to as the Catholic community in Northern Ireland. I spent many evenings with him and his family over a cup of tea by the wood stove talking about any and everything. I learned a lot from him and his family and cherished their company. I was also privileged to hear their own personal experiences during the Troubles of what it was like to be a Catholic during that time, stories that would break your heart or make you laugh or both. Sometimes Kevin and I would argue about the politics of Northern Ireland. You see, I was studying it full time in class, in books, in seminars and through personal observation about the city that I lived in that remains very divided to this day. But he would remind me, Sam, this is my history and this is my life. It is not as simple as your books make it. And he was right and I needed to be reminded of that. Life is not that simple. But we challenged each other and learned from each other and had lots of good times too, the highlight of which was camping down the West Coast of Ireland in May. It’s a trip I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
This is Dr. Jim Skelly. I met him at a conference in DC before I left for Ireland. He is a visiting Peace professor at Ulster, Magee, my university in Derry. He is also the Resident Director of a study abroad program based in PA near my hometown. Jim is my academic mentor and he will be one of my graders for my masters thesis due next month. But he has also become a personal mentor to me. We have shared many dinners and conversations about life and the work which we are both passionate about, namely, international education and peace and justice, which is the topic of my dissertation.
I traveled a bit while abroad. These are 2 other Rotary Ambassadorial Scholars with whom I spent a weekend in Nice, France with. I also visited a friend from Carolina who is in the Peace Corps in Morocco right now. As it turns out, I don’t speak Tashelheet but thankfully she does and because of that we were together able to spend time with the Moroccans and have dinner or conversations with the locals from Larba Sahel, Agadir, Marrakech, and Tiznit and they welcomed me as with warmth and hospitality as they have welcomed Hanneke. I also made it to Scotland and spent a week in London for spring break, where I trained part of the time for my summer job in Belfast.
Heather and I, through interesting circumstances, ended up working for People to People International this past summer in Belfast. People to People is a US based organizations that sends US students on study travel tours around the world. The purpose of their programs is similar to the Ambassadorial scholarship—peace through mutual understanding. This was the first summer ever that US delegations would be visiting Northern Ireland. Heather and I developed a pilot project called the Road to Peace, which I found a bit corny in name though the title wasn’t our choice. Nonetheless, we spoke with over 700 students this past summer and designed a 90 minute seminar to talk about identity, conflict, the Troubles, peace and the peace process in Northern Ireland. We had them read quotes from young people from NI and we also talked about how the issues discussed were every bit as important in the US context. We had two local speakers come in and share their story about what it was like growing up in Northern Ireland. One speaker was from a Catholic background and one from a Protestant background. They also doubled as my friends, housemates, or classmates back in Derry! The seminar was a success and I learned so much from the way that the students engaged in the issues, asked questions, and reflected with enthusiasm on their own experience on their program.
Now I am back in PA with my family. I am finishing my master’s degree, looking for jobs in international education, and keeping my eyes open for whatever is next. I recognize that so many people have poured into my life, particularly this past year, and I am hoping that I have given back and will continue to find opportunities to give back in the spirit of service that Rotary promotes.
There are so many other things I could say, but I will leave it at that and say thank you once again. It has been a growing year for me and one that I will be especially grateful for the rest of my life. Please continue to support the Rotary Foundation and Ambassadorial scholars because there is no substitute for face-to-face encounters, building relationships, and service to others. Here is a brief slideshow of pictures from my year, and if we have time, I will take questions if you have them.
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